Digital *!!&*@

Yeah I hate my scale, it read 10lbs lighter when I stepped on it today. Sounds like good news right? NO because when I stepped back on it before my victory lap I stated that I had actually not lost an ounce. NOTHING. Dammit. I have barely started ww again and I am already failing at it. No loss is not fair. By the way no it's not muscle weight because I haven't done a thing really. I'm sad. 

Moving on. This is not a pity me post, please don't take it that way. This is a bad weight in- verbal vomit to remove all the bad feelings about it. It's a new week. Here it goes again. Good foods fill my fridge and good thoughts fill my brain. I'm Good.

worried? not any more

So as the weekend away approaches I have come tot he realization that it isn't that hard to stay on track. My week ends on Saturday, I still have 7 flex points and Sunday starts a new week. Friday I don't leave until the late afternoon so it is basically a normal day keeping in mind a dinner on the road. Do I pack a sandwich? Stop at Subway? 

Wow there are two simple options that redirect me from McDonalds or Burger King. Ha I realize everyone is thinking that I could order a salad...yeah well that doesn't usually happen. I a big fan of cheeseburgers and fries.

I could plan to eat poorly for dinner by eating really well/minimal during the day but in the end I don't need all that fat and junk. I can see that it is still an option but just not a good one. 

That being planned I have realized how lame I have been in the past allowing myself to give up/in. I would view the weekend away as a lost cause and just eat my little heart out. Not this time, everything is under control.

Trying hard

I have been struggling a little this week with wanting to eat nonstop. I think that everytime that I focus on eating well I end up focusing on wanting to eat. I have had this issue everytime I have been on ww. I know that I have a rough weekend ahead of me (out of town wedding) and I had wanted to save the bulk of my flex points for back up. However this has not been accomplished thus far. I have been wanting to eat so often that I have used up 2/3 of my flex already and my week runs through Saturday! Oh this is going to be tough. 

I'm not sure what to do. Do I try (and most likely fail to be honest) to keep with this week doing as little damage as possible? Do I do my best and try to not use my flex next week? Do I give up? HAHA just kidding on the last one. With two other options giving up is not a choice. 

It's a good thing that all these summer traveling events are almost over. As much as ww is a lifestyle change/choice it is also an adjustment and adjustments take time.

No digital devil this week

I've decided to not allow the scale to dictate my mood this week. I've put it away in the husbands closet so it is out of sight and out of mind. I will be hoping for a pleasant surprise on Sunday. 

Oh yeah and speaking of Sunday guess who has to go out of town for a wedding this weekend. Yeah that always seems to happen once I get my sh*t together and start working my points. 

Weekend away- note to self

- Change doesn't equal failure

- If you taste it you count it

-Plan ahead to enjoy the moments

-Eat cake but plan for it

-Make every bite count because in the end you have to count it. 

Week One on Weight Watchers

Check in...down three pounds. What can I say ww works when you use it. 

I"m HUNGRY!

Yeh, that's right. I'm hungry. Guess what.....it's a good thing. When I don't watch what I'm eating I am always "hungry" no I'm actually just not overfull. Today I was hungry. I felt it in my tummy, it was saying you need fuel, eat. 

This may not seem to be a relevation to anyone else but to me it means I am doing something good. It also means that being off the DC has worked. My body isn't constantly confused, anymore, thinking that the taste of sweet means food will follow. Yay no more artificial sweetners for me. 

Why?..why?

Why did I let myself eat that pizza. Like my blog/weight loss icon Roni at weightwatchen.com PIZZA is my major weakness. So of course the snack at work (a daycare) today was mini english muffin pizzas. I have to sit at the tables while the kids eat and of course two of those little yummy pies drifted into my drooling mouth. 

It wasn't the end of the world or my day and yeah I can totally fit them into my points for the day but the point was that I didn't need them. I really didn't plan for them, I didn't even feel hungry, but I ate them anyways because I wanted to. I knew that snack time is a problem and had even made the plan to pop a piece of gum, but I didn't.

I have officially found the weak point in my day. Around 2-3 I am always looking to eat nonstop. And since I don't have anything usually planned for that time period and because I never want to consume too many points at that point in the day, I end up picking. A cracker here, a hershey kiss there, and it is never satisfying. 

Well tomorrow I will be prepared, I will pack a snack to fill that void. The answer to my problems is planning. Now I have a plan.

Are you really accountable?

I have had to sit down and ask myself this question. The previous few times I tried to do weight watchers I'm not all that sure I was really accountable. I thought that I was but in all truths of truths I think I let a few too many things slide. That hershey kiss, the half cup of coffee, those three crackers, or maybe that handful of chips. In a day or even two that is a lot of unaccounted points. 

This time around I am trying so hard to count every bite. If it is not worth counting then it's not worth eating. 

Reminder to self: just because you grab those chips with your hand, without counting them, and eat them standing up does not make them 0 points. 

It's not me ....it's you.

I had my first diet coke for a couple weeks today. A nice icy cold fountain Diet Coke, my favorite. As I was filling the cup the anticipation was killing me, I imagine it was like a junkie who was just about to get their fix. My hands weren't moving quite fast enough and I felt like a child getting their first ice cream cone of the summer. 

I took a long hard sip and well nothing. It tasted kinda funny, like chemicals. I tried again. This time it was the same. I won't lie I tried again. My decision was made for me I would not go back to diet coke. Now I have no desire for it, no craving. I do however have a craving for something to take it's place. 

Dinner

Usually a get together with the girls would throw me into a tailspin of eating but not today. Today I ate light for breakfast and lunch to compensate for my very unpoint-friendly dinner. I could have eaten a little better at the restaurant but I decided to splurge a little and eat some of my flex points. Thats what they are there for I guess. 

I didn't allow this one meal to ruin my day, week, or month. I ate with in my weekly points and now I am moving on. I am feeling good. 

Weird

Isn't weird how certain activities or foods trigger cravings? For example I decided to really focus on counting my points today and all I could think about is how much I wanted a diet coke. Can I be on ww without diet coke? I really haven't noticed much of a difference in my body since quitting artificial sweeteners, maybe I should go back. Maybe diet coke can be a treat, maybe it is ok. I haven't heard all that much from people who have given up their diet coke. Does it really make a difference in weight loss? I think I have a little more research to do on that topic but I welcome any opinions, or personal experiences with this.

Honesty rears it's ugly head.

The good news is that I ran into a family member who asked me if I had lost weight and really pressed the fact that she thought that I had definitely lost weight. Ok now the truth I am at my highest weight in two years. All the weight I had lost (about 20lbs) has come back. I don't have any explanation or excuse.

 I stopped following weight watchers, I stopped exercising, and I gave up. 

I tried just cutting down on calories, I tried high protein, I attempted running, I cut artificial sweeteners, I tried drinking a ton of water which resulted in major headaches, Now its time to return to what worked before. 

I am going to start counting points again. I can't afford to go to meetings right now but I will hopefully be able to get my husband to be my weight in person. 

I cancelled cable which will hopefully get me off the couch more often. I am going to keep drinking water, no artificial sweeteners. I am going to work on the courage to post my daily menu. 

I am tired of giving up on me. It's time to invest some time in myself. 

Courage

If you post your daily menu on your blog then you are a very brave person. I have been thinking about doing this myself but really it scares me. I eat pretty well overall staying within points but man I eat a lot of little things, I don't eat breakfast, lunch, snack, dinner. I eat breakfast, snack, lunch, snack, snack, dinner, snack, snack. Yeah I am a major snacker. I can't help it, I always have been a snacker since I was a child. How do I break that habit? How do people plan so far in advance to know exactly what they are eating everyday. Even when I do get around to planning I never want to eat what is planned, I am just too damn picky. 

I wish I was brave enough to post my daily menu, maybe someday I will also be brave enough to us it as a tool to help myself stay extra accountable. 

Anything?

When I joined weight watchers I did it because it allowed me to eat ANYTHING I wanted and still lose weight. As I got more and more wrapped up in the ww plan I began to search for any foods that were 0,1, or maybe even 2 points. I became obsessed with finding food that fit in those categories and when a food didn't then I completely forgot about it. It seemed like foods were in two categories 0-2 points or 7-12 points (dinner stuff). I realized that I was denying myself simple things like a small glass of orange juice or salad dressing that isn't only 0-1 points. I found this 2point delicious honey mustard dressing that is great and that makes me want to eat more salads. That's a good thing, I am actually able to enjoy my salad and therefore eat more of it. SO just remember just because one food isn't super low in points, but if it makes you feel more satisfied for a marginally small point adjustment then splurge. I think it is important to remember that sometimes a little of the real thing is better than a lot of the reduced fat kind. 

Food hangover?

SO I woke up this morning feeling like I had drank like fish last night. However I haven't drank in weeks so as you can image I was confused. Was it the four sips of diet coke with my lunch? Was it the fact that I had FIVE pieces of dominos pizza? Or was it the over chlorinated pool I went swimming in? Who knows what it was, all I know is I hope I wake up a bit more refreshed tomorrow. 

PS the pizza was totally worth it, and at least I burned some calories swimming. 

Anti diet coke bandwagon.

So I jumped on that anti-diet coke bandwagon, not to mention no artificial sweeteners at all. So far I'm doing fine but isn't this supposed to help my weight loss? No instead I have gained two pounds. I'm not saying that it is all about the DC but it seems coincidental. I went out to dinner tonight and it triggered a pretty strong urge for some DC but I managed to fight it. I'm hoping that something is going to change soon because this is getting a little frustrating. I am eating well and getting some activity everyday but I haven't seen a positive change in my weight which just really makes me want to give up. 

Maybe it is time to put the scale away. For a week. Ok right now I am going to put the scale away and I will check back in next  Thursday and let you know if anything is happening. 

Bye Bye old friend

I am saying goodbye to a dear old friend today....my dear friend DVR and her brother digital cable. Yeah thats right I'm letting go. I have a really strong addiction to tv. It is on all the time, on my 56inch flat screen tv, that I also love. I'm doing this for many reasons, to save money, to spend more time with my husband, to focus on my school work and to force myself to get off my ass and MOVE.  I might cry when I hand over that shiny little silver box. It's time.