Sleepy..

I was so tired today! I got home at 12:30, took a bath, put on my jammies, and curled up on the couch. It's now 4:00 oops haven't done much of anything besides dig through the mountain of mail that has been sitting on my desk all week. Oh well everyone needs a day like that once in a while. 

So very exciting news on the running front. I think I will be able to purchase my uber expensive running shoes tomorrow. Once I pay for those bad boys I have no choice but to run. I've got to do this because I need the stress relief, I need the calories burned, and I need to be involved with something. I want a goal that isn't a number of pounds. The goal can be a number of miles, or a number of days, or a number in the form of time but not pounds. I am so sick of that goal. I want to be healthier. 

What a week

This week is going to put me over the edge, school is just kicking my butt. I have a physiopsych exam and presentation on Thursday, so unfair. I am just beyond exhausted and have been really struggling to get my sleep lately. I was up til 3am last night and up for class @8 so not fun. I cancelled my morning for tomorrow and I am planning on taking some tylenol pm tonight. 

I don't have time to pick up my new sneakers until Friday so I will hopefully start c25k either Friday night or Saturday morning. I'm not monitoring my food too closely but just trying to make good choices.  Sometimes it helps to not think too much about food. 

Goal

This weeks goal is to get my running plan ready to go, and run once. My secondary goal is to not eat out with the exception of my morning coffee. 

Schedule adjustment

SO I just emailed my boss to see if I can adjust my schedule so I can have a little more time in the mornings 3 days a week. Why you my ask...well I am in classes this semester 3 night a week til 8ish so I needed to find some free time to fit in some running.

 Originally I had planned to run at 6 in the morning to allow me time to shower and get to work by 8.  So as simple as it seemed I figures that I should try getting up that early on an off day just to see how it was. 6 am is really early, really really early. So realizing that I didn't want to set myself up to fail I made a new plan. If I adjust my morning schedule 3 times a week well actually it will only be 2 because Monday I don't have class til 9 am anyways. 

I don't see the schedule change to be a problem by boss is pretty laid back and the kids don't really start to arrive until 9ish anyways. SO we will see what she says about it and go on from there. 

So I am feeling good about this because usually I make plans that are too difficult to stick to but this time I have really thought about it. I am actually excited to start running again. I can't believe that I quit before because of crappy shoes if only I had listened to Marie the first time when she said to go to a running store for shoes. oops. So once the schedule is ok'ed I will go pick up my shoes and get started.  

One question, Has anyone done the couch to 5k program and had to repeat week one? Both times I have tried it I have felt the need to repeat week one should I just really push to get through week two?

Setting my self up for...

So my dilemma today was the cost of the running shoes that I need. It made me stop, think, and wait instead of pressing forward and getting started.  Honestly if I am going to be able to run for a few months on these shoes then isn't it worth the extra $30? Of course it is. I do not want to give up on my self or give myself the excuse to fail at running. 

I need to make sure that I am setting myself up to win, just go buy the shoes, the ipod, and get out there and run.....its not getting any warmer outside that for sure. 

I'm just a girl...

Yeah so I finally went to the running store to see about getting myself some new shoes and it was awkward. The salesperson was great she was really helpful and patient. I just felt like I was a fish out of water. I knew that I would. But I stepped outside my comfort zone and did it. 

She recommended a pair of Brooks, addiction is what they are called. Aparently I pronate a lot and have pretty flat feet. Ok so thats when it hit me I am such a girl ...the shoes were ugly. Well the ones I need are. I wanted flashy, fast looking shoes but really they aren't. I didn't buy any shoes today but I know now what I need.

 I actually found them cheaper online by $30 but I am feeling some guilt about not buying that the store. Is it ok to buy them online even though I used there service at the store? The only other perk to buying them at the running store is that they have a return/exchange program if it turns out that you don't like the shoes after a couple of runs. 

Arg. I am trying to not be cheap and make the best choice but really they are expensive shoes. I also am planning on buying an ipod shuffle that I can just clip to my shirt when I run. Right now I have a ipod touch but it is really too big to run with. Lucky for me the shuffles are under $50 now. 

SO any opinions? Any one tried Brooks brand shoes before?

To run or not to run?

I tried running for a little while and I had some trouble so I was hoping that I could get some answers from all you runners about what I should do.

1. I think I may have bought the wrong sneakers. WHen I run the outer part of my foot aches, is it my shoes? Or is it just something I have to toughen up and work through?

2. How do you keep your pants from falling down?? Seriously I carry my weight like a prego woman and once those pants start to slide its over and want to hit the ground. PS its really ahrd to run and hold up your pants. 

3. Where do I put my keys so they don't fall out of my pockets?

4. Is it worth it??

Please any answers would be LOVELY!!

Thank you again for any support and I really want to do this this time.  PS I love C25K

Winter

I live in Maine, winter sucks. Seasonal depression sucks too. Soo how do we make the best of this? Well this year I am doing things differently. Usually I bake, I eat mountains of pasta, and sleep. This year instead I will decorate the house with festive things, I will buy candles that smell like pumpkin spice or apple cider, and I will bake food for the office. 

Depending on how rough the weather is this year I may even renew my gym contract, although I don't mind running the winter it's kind of nice as long as the roads are clear. 

Inside out

Working on the inside first. I am rebuilding my lifestyle, ok yeah you can "say" it. I know AGAIN. What good is life if you cant start over when you need to? Soo here we go again. 

I have been doing a lot of thinking lately about how I don't want to be obsessed with counting ...things but I know that I cannot do it without some sort of control. I am not sure what I will do but that is kind of down the road a little. I want to focus on some other life changes like eating more whole foods, less processed junk.

Most importantly I am working on treating my body better and realizing the emotions that I have for food. Food and I are just too attached. 

Some Ideas

Food is my friend

But I have real friends

Food is my partner

But I am lucky to have a great husband

Food is my entertainment

But I have plenty to do.

Food is complicated

But it can be simple

Food is part of my life

But it shouldn't control it

Food is reward

But health is a better reward

Food is fuel

So I better treat it that way. 

Good Stuff

I'm feeling better, thanks for asking! This sinus infection is finally clearing up and I am starting to catch up on much needed sleep. I have been also really working on getting caught up with school stuff. Eating has been ok  I have been working on drinking more water and focusing on listening to my body. 

I have a lot of work to do this weekend, planning, getting some exercise in and doing some homework.

So I have really noticed that if I take one day to work really hard whether it is cooking in bulk in advance, finishing a bunch of homework ahead of time, or just cleaning my house it makes this amazing difference. 

It feels amazing to get ahead, to know that there isn't something that has to be done nagging you in the back of your mind. It is freeing. It even makes me want to do more. It just takes away a little of the pressure in life. 

I am devoting my weekend to getting it together. I will create and complete a to do list. I will organize, clean, and focus. I will finish it all by Saturday so that I can spend Sunday in BED!! WOO. 

New idea.

So I had this idea, I have been trying to figure out a way to reward myself for my hard work, I usually say "When I lose X-lbs I will ---" But doesn't it make more sense to reward consistency? SO maybe I should look at things more like this "When I work out 3 times a week I will----" or "When I stay within my calorie range I will----" 

I have a feeling that this way of thinking would be more healthy mentally. It is rewarding the lifestyle not just weight loss. Obviously weight loss is my goal but health is my priority. 

Since this week is already started I am going to make a mini goal. I am going to get back on track by logging all of my food regardless of how good or bad it is. 

I have to go home this weekend for a funeral (my husbands 2nd cousin, we were prepared for it to happen so it has been a little easier to deal with) so I hope to get back on the counting calories track officially on Monday. However I am going to keep track of what I am eating and not relying on the I'll start Monday eat everything frame of mind. So here's hoping for best. 

I am really struggling to grasp the idea of living life and not just getting through it. I really want to focus on the little ways to enjoy my life and my husband. You only live once and you never know what your expiration date is. So live, love, and enjoy life. 

I'm here hanging out with my lovely cold still hanging on. I'm feeling a little bit better than I was last week but it is still an issue. Food wise I have been eating but not really counting anything. I cannot taste or smell anything so I haven't really had much for cravings which seems like a blessing but really is just a pain because I am having to eat anyways and not able to enjoy any of it. 

My goal for this week is to get rid of my cold by taking care of myself. As much as I hate to admit it I figure that by eating crap the last couple weeks it's kinda my fault that this cold is still around. If I had started taking better care of my body 3 weeks ago I'm sure I would have kicked that cold by now. 

Well thats where I am no weight change, but not too worried about it, I figure I am about 2/3 snot right now anyways ; P

Inspired

I have been so inspired by a blog that I came across. I isn't a weight loss blog but rather a food blog. You can find it at www.KathEats.com which is Kath eats real food and she photgraphs it everyday. The amount of effort put into presentation of her food is amazing and she can make oatmeal seem like a 5 star meal. Check it out it really puts into perspective how making food look pretty can make it more enjoyable.

 No more shoving food into my mouth in front of the tv, mindlessly. I am trying to  eat at the kitchen table and to really enjoy my food. I can already tell that I am eating less and appreciating the simpler things. Do you have any idea how beautiful fruit is? Cut it up lay it on a plate put a dallop of cool whip free or some granola. 

I also see a connection with the enjoyment of eating out and presentation. So I am going to try to plate my food and make an effort with the little things. 

Woops

I have to admit that I have been neglecting my calorie count logs. I've just been really sick, exhausted, and busy with school. I haven't been focused on writing everything down because it has been a lot of work simply staying upright and studying. 

Since I have been non accountable to my calorie count page I have been eating a lot of stuff that normally I would avoid including, Mcdonalds, M&Ms, loads of peanut butter toast, and I have been just doing a lot of extra snacking. 

Bright side I haven't gained, downside I haven't lost. I am feeling a lot more healthy though today and I know that I need to focus this week to make up for this weeks woops. 

BY the way, I have seen all the amazing work that everyone is doing on the Chubby Girls Challenge and it has really been a motivator for me so THANK YOU, all of you are doing amazing. 

Meat and Potatoes kinda girl.

I have always struggled with idea of meals. In my mind a meal is a meat and a starch and that has got to change. I know that I would function much better using a 6 small meals plan. How do I wrap my mind around the idea that a yogurt and a piece of fruit is ok. 

Any tips on eating smaller meals? What should I eat that will last me through 4-5 hours?