Deal

So I presented an idea to my husband tonight, well not an idea but more of a deal. Let me prefence this with the fact that I have no shopped for clothing in months, like 6 or 7 months. We bought a house and I was unemployed which meant we were on a very very tight budget. I have been getting the shopping itch.

Maybe it is because I have gained weight and nothing fits, or maybe it is just because I am sick of wearing the same things all the time. Maybe I just watch too much what not to wear.

Anyways I have been lacking any motivation to stick to a healthy eating plan. I thought about rejoining weight watchers but lets be honest, it is not cheap. For all of you who will tell me it is worth it, yes I know and agree. Heading into winter I know I won't want to get bundled up and go to meetings on icy roads. The nearest meeting is 20 minutes away. Right now it isn't the best choice for me. So I made a plan.

My husband has agreed that for every 10 lbs I lose I get a shopping spree. I get to spend $100, without guilt, on myself. I realize for a lot of you thats not much money but for me it is. It is just the boost I need and the rough equivalent of 2 months of weight watchers. It.is.on.

When I brought up the plan my husband said "seems like a bad idea with thanksgiving coming up" I shocked myself with a quick reply of "It's only one day" I guess I have learned soemthing all these years of dieting haha.

So here it is I weighed in this morning at 191, I plan to bust my butt and hit 181 by Christmas.

SO sick

I have the flu. Started on Wednesday and I am now just feeling human again but still sick. We had the day off on Thursday and I spent it in bed with a fever. I headed to school on Thursday still sick and slightly feverish because I didn't want to call out since I knew there was already a lot of people out. I made it into the special ed room and the head teacher basically told me to go home. SO I came home and spend the day in bed. Yesterday was slightly better I was up and about and today I still feel crappy but no fever, so it is back to school tomorrow.

Well Hello there.

Hello dear loyal remaining followers! I am glad to see that most of you are still around, even though I haven't been. I appreciate you! I have been keeping up on reading blogs, every single day but post has been tough. NOt because I didn't have time but rather because I knew I wasn't taking care of myself.

I know that I need to snap back into action. I am feeling uncomfortable in all of my clothing. I am constantly aware of how my stomach is sticking out, constantly fearing that someone will mistake me as being pregnant. In turn I don't want to go out or socialize because I might meet new people who may ask if I am pregnant, embarassing me in front of others. Sometimes I just wish I looked fat, but my body type makes me look pregnant. I don't really care if people think I am overweight because I am.

The true irony is is that I wish I was pregnant, starting a family but we aren't there yet financially. I am aware that I am getting to an age they people feel that they can say that I better hurry up and have kids. Like I don't know that I am approaching 30 years old, I know we are the only/oldest in my husband's family with out kids. I know we will be good parents but just not quite yet. I know timing will never be right but I need a job and I need health insurance but they just don't seem to understand that fact.

SO the point of this post is not to complain but rather to set forth a plan for change. I don't have a huge plan or set of steps. Instead I am making small changes. I will start logging my calories, today, right now. I will be active this week when I get home from school, starting with walking.

Thats how I am going to start this up. No big plan for me to fail but rather simple steps to a healthier me. I just keep thinking about how happy and content I was at 174lbs. No it isn't the perfect weight for me but I felt really good. I want to get back to that place where I felt good about my body, loved shopping/trying on clothes, and was confident.

This is a long post with a promise to try. I will be posting more and I hope you all can understand my absences.

I made it!

So I lasted a whole month without weighing in. The result 189.4 lbs for all the junk I ate I am actually pleasantly surprised. It makes me wonder how it would have turned out if I had actually tried. An expiriment for another time.

So what is next? Still not sure.