Perfect uterus

I may be chunky but my Dr. told me that I have "a perfect uterus". So I am happy.

NOTE: no my Dr. didn't say I am chunky lol.

Winter blues

Hey guys, sorry I have been such terrible blogger this year month week. I am seriously battling some winter blues. As you may have gleamed from previous posts, I live in the freezing long wintered state of Maine. After Christmas passes it can be really tough to deal with the cold and snow mentally, physically, and emotionally.

It is really hitting me this year. It doesn't help that the house we bought has basically no isulation, when the lying bastards sellers claimed it was very well insulated. So we keep the thermostat at 68 degrees and the house tends to sit at a toasty 58 to 60 degrees. Yes we could turn the heat up but our oil bill is already more than our mortgage, so we don't. I spend my time at home bundled up in sweats, wearing socks with slippers, and buried under blankets. Sounds pretty freakin depressing doesn't it?

Well we are pushing through only 3ish month left of it! We are hoping that our tax return will provide us with enough money to insulate, since we had future plans to tear out all the cracked plasterboard upstairs and the panelling downstairs. It is just more of a neccessity now. Lucky for us we have some family willing to help and show us how to do it. It is going to be a big mess and a lot of work but in the end we will be warmer next winter and our house will have more equity.

So that is where I am right now. I hope for school to be cancelled for snowdays but also hope it doesn't because I need the hours and don't want any more snow. Since school wasn't cancelled today I better go get dressed before I am late!

circle of plans

There are many things that I have attempted, put effort into, and then quit. I find myself having difficulty sticking to my plans. Maybe my plans are too rigid, maybe I give up too easily. In the end I just long to try again. I still want to be an early riser. I still want to work out in the morning I love the way it makes me feel). I still want to stop drinking diet coke. I still want to get healthy before pregnancy.

They all seem to involve each other. If I drank less diet coke, I could sleep better and rise earlier. If I got up earlier I would have time to work out before work. If I did all of these things I would be heading towards a healthier pregnancy.

SO where to start? I think that the first step is to cut back on my diet coke consumption which I would be doing once I am pregnant anyways. Along with that I am going to set my alarm 15 minutes earlier next week. How is that for a start?

Emotional

Wow last night was a tough night. I had a bit of a melt down about finances, more specifically student loan debt that is going into repayment. It is really overwhelming and I am not sure how I am supposed to live and pay them back. Especially since I have such a low paying job at the school, not that teachers make a lot but as an ed tech I make less than half what a teacher makes. SO last night I sulked, sobbed, and went to bed. My husband assures me that it will be ok but I just can't fathom paying $500 a month for the rest of my life basically. Especially when my take home is $600 bi weekly.

I just want to start a family and live a modest life. I don't need much but I don't want my child to feel like they went without like I did. I don't want them to avoid playing basketball because we cannot afford the shoes or not go to prom because they know we don't have money for a dress. That was my experience and I don't want that for my child. I want them to have what they need.

I know this isn't really health related but it is connected. Emotionally I was in a really bad place. I am still coming out of it. I realize I am lacking control. I am going to try to turn that need for control into my health. I can control what I eat and how I work out. I can control my choices.

lost but not losing.

I am feeling a bit mad at myself today. I am irritated that I paid the money for 3 moths of ww online and I am not really using it. I am wasting the money. I need to get back into the swing of things again. Every year I say that the holidays aren't going to ruin my health progress but they do. Why? Well because I let them. I then struggle to get back to my healthy ways.

I need to get back. I am really half assing this and if I am going to do it I need to really be all in. This is my time to refocus.

Back to school

Well I am back to work this week and it is truly kicking my butt. I am TIRED! But I am also tracking, pretty honestly and trying to get my water in. I started getting up earlier than before to allow myself some blogging/coffee time in the morning which is nice. No more stressful rushing to start my day.

Work is proving to have some real curveballs for the next month or so, one of the ed techs that I work with is leaving. I know that people change jobs all the time but when working with kids with autism it is especially hard to make the transition. Just to add to the stress the students are dealing with coming back from a 2 week break. Yeah did I mention I am tired : )

3lbs

Okay so I am up 3lbs this week, I think Christmas caught up with me. It doesn't help that I am at the end of my period. I have also been drinking copious amounts of diet coke and pretty much no water. This week I will focus on water intake and tracking. I have already started tracking today and will be attempting to drink at minimum 60oz of water everyday.

The water will be a challenge because I work with special needs kids and I cannot just run to the bathroom when I am at school. SO I plan on drinking one bottle while at school, one when I get home (2pm), and one with dinner. I find that by planning my water intake around certain events in my day I am much more likely to remember.

So thats the plan for this week, no lbs lost goal but life change goals.