Umm tomorrow.

Today was ok, I ate without counting again but overall it was a pretty typical day. I had a big salad for lunch and a sandwich for dinner, so nothing really too damaging today although I was a little heavy on snacking.

I think that I have decided to use my no weigh in pass this week because I think that seeing a gain would just send me over the edge. Although for all I know I could have a loss because I haven't really been weighing myself today but I think that it would be doubtful. I am not really sure how not weighing in will effect my BLBE contribution but I will have to ask Angie about it.

I feel exhausted and just overall sluggish. I know it is from my poor health habits and therefore I know how to fix it. Tomorrow starts my new weight watchers week and I am going to focus on that. It is a new start every week and so I will treat it that way.

By the way I do plan on going to my meeting even though I am not weighing in because I know that it will help me get back on the right track.

I have a little homework to do tomorrow and I think that I will head over to the bookstore to focus and get it done. I am also going to browse and purchase a book that will help me feel motivated. Any tips for a feel good/motivation book?

You are amazing.

Thank you all for the amazingly lovely comments. Some days it really shocks me to think that I have such an amazing group of people who are understanding and just here to support me because they have been where I am. Thank you.

I truly believe that you all are going to be the reason that I really do this this time around. Even though I know that I CAN do this there are just some days that threaten to tear me down and today was definitely one of those days.

I will be honest I absolutely went a bit over my points today, I let go and ate until I was satisfied/satiated. It included a couple ice cream sandwiches and tacos. It did help me feel better because I was free for that 5 hour period and I could have done much worse. I could have hit every fast food joint on the road but I didn't. Instead I choose to eat what I wanted without feeling frenzied/crazy like a typical binge. I was thinking about what I was eating, knowing what I wanted and choosing to eat it. I enjoyed what I had instead of just cramming everything in sight into my mouth. I am not making excuses by any means but it does seem like a minor improvement.

I am proud that I have been able to blog about my mistakes because before I would have just dropped off and not blogged. Progress.

I am going to head to bed with some healthy motivating reading. I am going to wake up in the morning refreshed and ready for the weekend. I may not see a loss when I weigh in Sunday but tomorrow is a new day and I might as well get started on my loss for next week.

I see much water in my future.

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I failing, I can feel it. I am starting to care less and less about what I eat. Today I even thought "Oh well screw it I want it. I ate what I wanted and didn't care that it used up all my points by 3pm. I didn't care that I didn't leave myself any wiggle room for tomorrow. I didn't care that I weigh in on Sunday and I know I will bloat.

I need to kick start myself. I am recognizing a pattern from my past, where I give up and say screw it. I have so many excuses, veggies are soo expensive right now, I have no time to cook with school, I am stressed, I'm not losing much, I love to eat out, and I miss fried chicken. I miss just grabbing something to eat and not thinking about it. I miss not having to plan EVERYTHING I put in my mouth.

I actually had the thought today that I might as well just eat what I want because I am not going to lose this week anyways.

Why is it that it is so easy to quit?

Ok don't panic, I am not quitting but holy cow am I tempted to. I just need to stop and think a bit so that I can start caring again.

Relationship thoughts on a snowy day

With my schedule quickly filling up with school, work, and social obligations I know that I have got to focus on making time for whats important in my life. Firstly I have scheduled time for all my classes, studying, working out, and weight watchers meeting. Socially I am not to active, I prefer to be a homebody for the most part.

Although I spend the bulk of my free time at home with my husband I have realized that I am not really spending time with him. We are both usually on our laptops or even in different rooms watching our favorite shows. We have even been know to watch the same show but in different rooms. It is not nessesarily on purpose but it happens. So since I have been thinking about it I decided to do something about it.

DATE NIGHT! I personally have never liked the idea of scheduling date time with my husband because to me it seems so forced. I feel the same about obligatory sex (birthday, hotel ect.) I prefer spontaneity. However in a time of necessity I am going to give date night a try. I am going to come home and bath and primp just like I would have before we were married, taking time to make my husband feel special. (I'm a pjs when at home kinda of girl) We will go to dinner or order in (not having to cook is key) and we will watch a movie together (sans laptops, in the same room, possible cuddling)

I think that it is just really important with all the rush of life that we make a conscious effort to spend time together. In the future when my schedule slows down it may not be nessessary to schedule a date night or maybe it might just be so great that we keep it going. The least that we can do is try. PS We have a happy relationship this is more about making it even better.

snacking!!!!

I want to eat. I want crackers, toast, chips, waffles, french fries, and cereal. I am already 5 points into my flex this week (which started today). I really want a big bowl of popcorn (i'm out) and I think that peanut butter toast would work but I am not wanting to use the points.

I am chewing really minty gum to fight the urge to eat. I have chuggalugged a ton of water and that didn't work either. Maybe a bath? Um already did that too. Crap, this is hard. I am all caught up on my bloggers. I am struggling a little tonight. This is my last resort, to blog about it. Um yeah, it didn't work.

I think I am going to go take another bath...

NO change.

I stayed the same. No loss but still NO gain. It's ok, I kinda had an idea it was going to happen, I always weigh myself before I go so that it isn't too much of a shock when I get my official weight.

I did ok this week, I totally slacked on my water intake though. I was also having my period so that never helps. I am not going to be disappointed, I see it as an experiment that shows that I need to drink my water to stay on top of my game. It is just one week and next week I should be seeing a good loss.

Last week before I was focusing on eating breakfast I decided to try drinking a bottle of water first thing in the morning in place of coffee. That worked pretty well and I am going to try to incorporate it into my breakfast again.

Overall eating breakfast wasn't much of a change diet wise for me, I really didn't notice a difference other than I was really hungry around 10:30-11. I guess that would be my metabolsim revving up? I am going to keep eating breakfast for at least another week and see how it goes.

America's top model is marathoning today so I will hop on the treadmill and get some time exercising in. I'm going to schedule that in for 2pm. I am a big fan of scheduling exercise in just like everything else that is important in your life. Look at you schedule and write in time for activity. I write it in my paperbook, its on my computer, and it is on my ipod. I also keep and white board by my bed so I can write what activity I did each day and it serves as a visual aid for when I drop off in my activity. Some people use calendars and stickers, whatever works for you. It is just good to be able to see your accomplishments.

Weekly goals to be noted later today. Take care and have a lovely day.

Weekend goal status

Movie with husband~ DONE
Treadmill time 30 min~ DONE
Water~ DONE
Up by 9 today~ FAIL

Sunday TO DO..

Up Early
Weigh in
water
Homework
30 min treadmill and a DVD

READ THIS

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If you don't follow this blog..you should.


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Weekend

I am glad that tomorrow starts a new week for me, I will weigh in in the morning, not expecting much for a loss this week. I have been within my points but overall it just hasn't felt like a good weight loss week. I am just getting done my period and I am feeling pretty bloated and yucky.

Do you ever notice that some weeks you just feel good? You can feel that your body is healthy and relaxed. Well this week has not been at all like that. I just feel a bit crummy. I guess no exercise and very little water intake will do that to you.

So far I haven't had any diet coke today and about 40 oz of water, so not too bad. I am planning on watching a movie with the husband (2nd viewing of The Dark Knight). I am seriously thinking about hoping on the treadmill for at least 30 minutes before plus that will help me get some water in. You know what I am going to go get on the treadmill RIGHT NOW!! I know it will make me feel better and even more energized!! Woo

Take Care LOVELIES!!

I know what to do but I still haven't pulled my self together yet this evening. I am not doing anything horrid but I am still wanting to eat everything in sight. I didn't get on the treadmill and I am still drinking my diet coke. ( I feel like the little child who always tells on themselves) I know that I have some underlying stress and anxiety over my school stuff but I am dealing with it the best I can.

I want to get on the treadmill but I feel totally crappy. I am coming off my period, I feel bloated, and lazy. I am writing today off. It is a wasted day as far as health goes and i think I am just going to go to bed with a book. I already bubble bathed (yes I used it as a verb)trying to stop my mindless eating, I tried chewing minty gum, and bed is my last save my healthy diet resort. PS how sad is that?

My plan for tomorrow is to get up at a reasonable hour (9ish) and eat breakfast. I need to devote about 2-3 hours to homework and then I should be pretty free for the weekend. I've decided since today was such bust I am going to make the most of my weekend. I weigh in on Sunday and I need to get it together. So I have decided to set some weekend goals.

1. Drink 90%water
2. Get my homework done Saturday (mental health)
3. Treadmill at least 1 hour total
4. Do one workout dvd
5. Get up by 9am
6. Watch a movie with the husband

Some goals are easier than others but none the less they are all part of a healthy weekend whether it is for my mental or physical health. But really are mental and physical two parts of just health?

More Diet Coke disscussion.

I think that I have been doing the crazy night time eating thing again. I think that it IS because I am drinking copious amounts of diet coke again.

I tend to pick up a diet coke at school to stop myself from feeling deprived of the fried or sugary goodness. It stops the mindless eating while studying. It is the evening that is the problem I come home and start drinking the dc around 6. I really feel that there is a correlation between the evening dc drinking and the non stop munching.

Oh yeah and the water drinking is seriously lacking due to always having a dc on hand. So I guess one test is to stop drinking Diet Coke after dinner.Or maybe even just drink it at school as a treat. Wait I think I just talked myself into a circle, didn't I just try the no diet coke at home thing...yeah and failed miserably. I am really thinking more and more that I might need to just stop drinking the dc all together.

Ahhh I don't know. It is so hard to give up a 0 calorie treat!!

Honest

I just ate a full bag of chips, with ranch dip. I ate without thinking, barely even enjoying it. I went to the store bought them and came on to sit and eat them. I had to stop and own this. I had to write down how crappy it makes me feel to know that I ate that.
It is not the end of the world, I had the weekly points to cover it. I at least chose baked kettle chips (10pts for the bag) and I threw the rest of the dip away. It just makes me made that I could have enjoyed those 20 points on something much more enjoyable. I got caught up in the craving and just let loose.
I think that it is important to post about the bad as well as the good because weight loss is a journey of ups and downs. I am embarrassed that I had that mini binge but I am also proud because I stopped. Six months ago I would have gone on a full out, eat whatever I want until I want to puke because I already screwed up so I might as well go crazy. Today I stopped, I threw away the junk and now I am moving on. I am going to drink lots of water to get rid of the sodium and get on the treadmill to create some balance.

I am human and I am a learner.

Hello there lovely...

Hi my name is Jess and I feel like I have been a bad blogger this week!! Ok I know its ok because you all love me so much that you will let it slide ....this time. ; )
So this semester is already knocking me over with work but I am fighting hard to keep on top of it all. I am trying to keep myself from getting stressed. I read this great quote on stress and I thought that I would share it with you

"Stress comes from knowing what is right and doing what is wrong" Larry Winget

For example you get stressed when you eat mcdonalds because you know you should have packed a sandwich. Think about it. I get stressed about school work usually because I procrastinate. I sit and think "Oh, I should be doing homework but instead I will watch tv...oh I am so stressed" At least that is how the quote really applies to me.

Ok I'm going ot do a little GBU (stolen from this adorable little mouse) for my weekly goals, ready?

Good- I have easily stayed with in my points this week
Bad- I have done very little exercise
Ugly- I am back on the diet coke.

Good- I have been eating breakfast daily
Bad-it makes me really hungry for an early lunch
Ugly- I resorted to slimfast one day

Good- I packed my lunch everyday while at school (even ate it too)
Bad- I forgot my lunch yesterday
Ugly- I chose not to eat lunch instead of eating cafeteria food


Take care and remember that exercise relieves stress way better than ice cream!!

Quick check in! I stared school again yesterday and once I have my groove back I will be able to keep up much better with my blogging. I packed my lunch yesterday and actually ate it! I have had something for breakfast both yesterday and today. Yesterday was 1/3 of a slimfast and today was toast. Ok well off to class. Good luck to you all, have a healthy, happy day!!

PS I am reading but not posting comments as much sorry.

Down 1.2

So so so you may have noticed on my weight chart that I am down 1.2 this week. I am happy with that number even though it is hard to adjust my mind to being happy with such a small loss. I think I tend to focus on the big picture which isn't a great idea with weight loss. I am really trying to make sure I am thankful for the loss because 1.2 pounds is good, each little 1lb loss adds up and soon it will be 10lbs.  

I totally failed on eating breakfast this morning but with a good reason....I slept through it. I am however prepared for breakfasts the rest of the week. I bought apples, oatmeal, cereal, and granola bars so I have no excuse. 

The next challenge is packing meals for my long days at school. This is one thing I have always struggled with because it seems that I never want to eat what I pack. Then I end up eating junk on campus. I am thinking about leaving my debit card in the car so that I can't use it on junk food. 

Ah can you tell I am nervous for my first day back to school tomorrow?

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Read all before judging please

I'm not going to lie I am feeling a little irritated when I see the BLBE weight lists showing that some people lost 10lbs for the first weigh in!!! Don't get me wrong I am really happen for the individuals who lost the weight, Great job honestly. Personally I have never lost more than 2lbs per week (exception of 1st weigh in at ww) it just seems so unfair that others can drop such big numbers. I mean I am asking for 1lb a week for myself and I probably won't even get that most weeks. It certainly isn't for a lack of trying or following plan, I just don't lose weigh easily at all. 

I dream of stepping on the scale and seeing a 3lb loss I would probably get off the scale and hop back on to make sure it was right. I personally know that I won't be the biggest loser, I didn't really sign up to win. I may win as a team trust me I am all for team spirit (GO A-TEAM) and I have an amazing team that I am already immensely proud of.  I just don't want to let my team down by losing .8 or 1.2 but that may be all I can do. 

Bottom line. my body is like my personality, doesn't want to give up anything it might need later.  I am giving this my best and I will give my team that .8 or 1lb loss because it is moving in the right direction. Slow and Steady baby. 

Rock on A-Team  1.29% of us is gone for good!!

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Weekly Goals

Well no weigh in today due to major snow (ew) so I will weigh in tomorrow morning hopefully. So on to goals. Last week I met my water goal easily, didn't eat out and so I stuck to my weekly dinner menu options. As far as running twice, I got in one run but I have been really too ill to push myself like that again. I did get a serious walk in on biggest loser night. I am feeling ok about it. I have also not bought anymore diet coke but I'm not going to lie I miss it a lot!

This weeks main goal is to eat breakfast everyday. Due to all your wonderful comments encouraging me to try eating breakfast I am all in to try it. It is going to be tough but if it is part of living a healthy life and diet then ok I will try. 

Water intake is always a goal, even though I usually meet it, I think it is still important to focus on it. 

The third goal for this week is to not let going back to school derail my healthy food choices. Being surrounded by chips, m&ms, giant cookies, cheeseburgers, and fries is really tough but it is also a part of life.  SO to meet this goal I will pack healthy snacks and try to sit away from the food area of the campus center while I study. 

Ok I am feeling ambitious so a fourth goal for this week is to keep up some activity!! So I want to get in 3 workouts each at least 30 minutes each. I would love for 2 of them to be walk/runs if I have it in me to do it.

Yay for a new week! Yay for my A-Team girls YOU ROCK.