I cruise in 14 days. Two weeks from today I will be flying to Florida. HOLY COW!! I am so excited. I am still not losing any weight. I haven't been working out or counting points. It never fails to amaze me how I am so unmotivated even when I have a big reason to be. I would think that a cruise would be enough to make me focus. I am not feeling bummed, I am just kind of excepting it. I am trying to listen to my body and eat healthy foods.

I am really just focused on my student teaching. I need to just breathe. Its all good.

Group classes

Hey Guys I am wondering, What is your opinion of group classes? Do you like them? DO you feel they push you more?

Small changes

I have decided to give the 30 day shred video another try. My friend had borrowed it for a few months and loved it so much she gave me some cash to buy a new one because wanted to keep it!


SO I picked up a new copy tonight and the husband and I are giving it another try. We have been tossing around the idea of getting up early and doing it before we head off to work. For me this is great because nothing feels better than having accomplished your workout before you even start your day. You feel more energized and are more likely to make better choices in order to not ruin the hard work you put in. I know all of this personally because I went to the gym for a while in the morning and loved it. Unfortunately that gym which was a block away closed and I lost the getting up early momentum.

The only draw back is that I am not, let me repeat NOT a morning person. I struggle to get up now and losing another hour of sleep is not going to help the situation. I hate getting up early so much that I shower at night to let me sleep in later in the morning. I have been know to get up 25 minutes before I head out the door, usually still half asleep.

My biggest struggle over all with exercise is that I am soo tired when I get home after a long day. I just cannot muster hte energy and therefore find it easy to make an excuse to skip working out. If I work out in the morning than there is nothing to get in the way of my work out.

Now I will note that the husband and I are still in negotiations about this morning thing. I do hope I can pull him over to my side of the argument.

I cannot believe

I weighed in this morning. I cannot believe that I have gained back 8 of the 20 lbs I lost. I can really feel it in my clothes and it sucks. I have just let go since the holidays and it is not working. I really thought that as long as I was eating in the same manner that I would just ...not lose but to gain this much really sucks. Its not like I am eating crispy cream burgers.

Mentally I dont really care what the number is but the bottom line is that my clothes are getting tight and that sucks. Most of my dress pants were a little tight to begin with but the muffin top has baked over at this point. I f'n hate muffin top.

I feel so freakin free not counting what I eat. It is amazing. But ...it is not working.

I just wanted to keep you all updated with all that is going on with me. Not good news but it is what it is. Not sure whats next but I will keep ya updated.

B&F

I have noticed something about before and after pictures. Even if the person isn't at goal the after pictures look soo much better. Whether it is 5 or 50lbs there is a different light behind their eyes. They look happier, more confident, and proud.

I think it must have to do with a sense of accomplishment and confidence in their ability to take control of their lives. I love before and after pictures! So keep up the amazing work and realize how much you have accomplished whether it is 5lbs or 50lbs.

about time

I got off my butt and did something. I walked for 30 minutes on the treadmill with a few minutes of running (1 minute in length each). Running sucks for the record. Just kidding but it was really tough even doing 1 minute of running intervals. I am glad that I managed to get up and do something.

Dress Shopping!!

SO we went to do a final sizing for our bridesmaid dresses. Last time I was teettering between a size 14 and 16. I had tried on the 16 which fit fine but I could also fit into the 14 in another dress (they didnt have my size in the actual dress) so when I went in today I tried on both sizes.

Of course with my luck the zipper on the 14 was broken. Once again the 16 fit fine but was a little loose on top. SO the girls convinced me to get the 14. I think that the 14 will fit me no matter how much I lose between then and now I just need to make sure I dont gain.

Now it is important to point out that I am going on an all you can eat cruise in less than a month. But then I will have 4 months to get back on track and ideally back to the low 170's. I am not worried, I think it will be great. I LOVE, love my dress btw. It is awesome and I will wear it over and over! Then to boot I only had to pay $15 for it since the mom of the bride is kicking in $100 towards each of our dresses!

Overall it was fun and sucessful.

On the food/weight loss front. I have been recording my calories and although I ate about 1700 calories I am feeling good about keeping track and seeing what I am really consuming.

What are you fighting?

So I have officially gained 5lbs since November, my focus is lost. I thought it was becasue I was sick of weight watchers but I think it is just me. I have lost that spark.

I think that it all seemed to go downhill when I stopped working out. I keep meaning to get back on the running bandwagon but facing the treadmill is really daunting at this point. I can feel myself in the same old pattern where I lost about 20lbs then gain it all back if not a little bit more. I f'n hate it. I hate it. I hate that I can see myself slipping and yet I am just letting it happen. I am pissed at myself, why can't I just snap out of it and get back to the plan.

What I have tried.
- planning meals
-drinking a ton of water
-planning workouts
-drinking less diet coke (I do have less cravings at night)
- changing my diet plan (stopping ww, trying intuitive eating)
- no alcohol (this isn't that hard for me)


I'm tired and I know it is because I am so inactive. I live in Maine and it is cold and dark the majority of the day. It's hard to get outside. It is hard to get up early when it is dark. Sure these are all valid excuses but complaining isn't going to change them. Whining about it won't make Maine turn into a warm climate. I am really trying to suck it up and realize that although these might make it more difficult my only true option is to find a way around it, I cannot change that.

So what am I going to fight?

Am I going to fight myself for continuing the lose/gain cycle? Or do I fight against the elements of life? DO I fight the urge to go back to bed before an early morning workout or fight the disapointment that I did skip the workout? Either way I am fighting.

points freedom.

How many times have I signed up for weight watchers and then dropped out after paying them a ton of money. Well probably about 6 times. And once again I am signing off my weight watchers account. It is just not working for me. Or rather I am not working for it. I am tired of points.

No worries I am not giving up and I am not forgetting what I have learned. I know what foods are good for me, the ones that will give me energy and the ones that will make me want to go to bed. I know what a portion is. I am going to listen to my body and eat when I am hungry.

I will also be using calorie count to make sure I am not going too crazy.

Very exciting stuff

I spent my morning cleaning up the apt, then I was off to run errands. I went to BJ's (like cosco or Sam's club) and got a good deal on some cucumbers and peppers. I then went to Whole Foods and picked up all sorts of goodies including two new veggies to try out. I bought an eggplant and a head of cauliflower, both of which I have been avoiding through out my life. My husband is so excited because he loves both! I am thinking of roasting the cauliflower, maybe with some balsamic. I'm not 100% sure about what to do with the eggplant.

I am also going to try my hand at a breakfast cookie tonight to have for breakfast in the morning. I am feeling pretty good about things this morning. I did not count points today and I have decided to get myself back into eating healthy and not worrying too much about the exact points. For dinner I just cut up a ton of veggies, carrots, trio of peppers and cukes with some veggie dip and hummus.

So I am feeling good and am going to go enjoy a nice cup of coffee.

One question

So as many of you know I am a veggie virgin. I didn't grow up eating veggies at all besides corn and potatoes. I am looking for some easy tasty healthy ways to cook up my veggies. Honestly I don't even know how or what to roast or what seasonings go with what. So let me know about your go to veggie recipes! Please!

Sick girl

Hello sick girl here and I am happy to report I feel like I am finally coming out of it. Yes it is true I have been feeling awful, coughing, sore throat, achy, and just feeling overall rotten. I therefore have not gotten myself back on track just yet. My diet has consisted of orange juice, ritz crackers, grilled cheese with tomato soup, and of course the ultimate comfort food ice cream. Lots of ice cream. I've basically been in bed for the past 3 days.

I am feeling a lot better today as far as my cold goes but I am feeling horrible as far as my diet/exercise is concerned. I really wanted to be back on track this week, I need to be back on track. My cruise is next month and although I do not need or expect to lose 20lbs by then I do want to feel healthy. I want to feel in control and strong not bloated and overfull.

I am frustrated with myself because I know that it is not only my being sick that has prevented me from getting on with getting back on track. I'm lazy. I am so freaking lazy, I don't want to plan or cook or workout. I am lazy and pissed off at myself for gaining back who knows how much over this past month. I am guessing about 5lbs. I fought so hard to lose these 20lbs and I just gave it up for junk food and laziness.

Please understand that this is not a "oh poor me" post and I do not want you to tell me that I am being too hard on myself, I am actually too easy on myself. I need to stop being so easy on myself. I need to crack down and hold myself accountable. I need to make plans and follow through. I need to realize that my health is a priority and it effects every aspect of my life from my marriage to stress level.

Small steps. I need to make a single step in the right direction and that will lead me back on track. I will not sleep in tomorrow, I will set my alarm. This is a big step seeing as I have slept in for the past 2 weeks! Especially with being sick, don't tell but I slept in until 12:30 today. Tomorrow I will set my alarm for 9, I will get up and get myself organized. I will catch up on my cleaning, most importantly my kitchen so that I am more likely to cook healthy meals.

So this is what I will do to move in the right direction, I will also try to figure out a workout plan that I can stick to. To start I simply want to have some physical activity every day for at least 30 minutes. That is my goal. I am not specifying what activity, it may be yoga or a leisurely walk, maybe even getting back to running. I miss running, I know I can do this, I can be a runner.

Sorry for the long post, I just have a ton of thoughts running through my head! Wish me luck!