Weigh in

Short post this morning. I am down 1.8 pounds! Yay! I love seeing my weight loss plan actually work when I stick to it. That brings me down to 188lbs.

triggers

Do you ever notice that eating at night,even a small snack leads to feeling super hungry? Last night I was kind of hungry and so I had a snack. After the snack I felt like I was starving, like all I wanted to do was to eat eat eat. It was awful, I felt like if I had never had that first snack then I would have been fine. I wasn't super hungry until after the first little snack. SO what does that mean to me? Well I guess I should just ignore those little hungers at night.

NSV

Oh I forgot a minor nonscale victory. Even though my calories were quite high the past couple days. I knew it was going to be that way, I just felt like I needed to eat more. So the victory is that even though I was about my target I still logged in every calorie. In the past I would have just said screw it, its not going ot be pretty so I dont want to see it. I knew that that is the way I usually lose track and stop tracking. SO although I knew my calories would be high I wrote down/logged it all. And in the end I know it kept me from giving up on calories counting. I woke up today and have been logging my calories.

The truth is for me that is a huge victory. I looked at my behavior and assessed the path I was heading down. I stopped myself before I sabotaged myself.

I won!

Some of you may have seen the awesome giveaway at fit this, girl I am one of the two lucky ducky winners of a Bondi Band!

It has been a really tough couple of weeks for us financially. I am feeling a little depressed since I am the one without at job in the household. I really needed a win, so I was pretty happy to see I won the giveaway.

Tomorrow I am driving a friend of mine to Portland about 2.5 hours away. She got in a car accident and needs to pick up her belongings from the car. I guess since I have no job it isn't so much a problem. However she promised to give me gas money and it is always a sticky situation with money and friends. The truth is I have to have my gas covered otherwise I am in trouble.

My calories have been a little high the past couple days but not over my daily calories burned. It has been very rainy so I haven't been able to get outside and walk or ride, so activity is definitely down. Tomorrow I will be in the car all day so I will probably be pretty low in the activity dept. On the plus side I have no money to eat out while I am there so no high cal lunch. On the down side the one stop we have for lunch will probably be dollar menu, which is mostly high cal. Well I will make the best choice I can and I will be packing some snacks for sure.

Well I am off to check on my baking sweet potato fries!

Birthday cakes

I went to a birthday party for my little cousin. Knowing that his mom made cupcakes I want to be prepared. I decided to get some activity in to allow me to feel comfortable indulging in a cupcake with no remorse. I knew that I had to get the activity in before th party otherwise it might now happen. So I went for a 2 mile walk before the party.

Once the cake was served I didn't even want any!! Can you believe it! haha. I knew I could have it but I just wasn't really hungry for it so I said no thanks. WIN.

Also I weighed in officially today and I was down 3lbs for the week, well actually I was only counting for about 4 days. I am pretty happy about it to say the least. So far my calories for the day are at 1222, which with activity is a deficit of about 800 calories. Good Day.

3 miles

Short post tonight, I managed to get the husband to go for a walk, he made it almost 2 miles and then I continued on for a third mile. Calories are in at 1166 today. I ate lots of veggies which kept my calorie count pretty low. I went to the farmers market this morning and picked up some deliciously fresh corn on the cob which we had with dinner.

I have a kiddie birthday party tomorrow at 3:30 so I am hoping to get some activity in before we go. The party is an hour away and my husband wants to visit his parents while we are in the area so time may be a squeeze. If I don't get some activity in before then no cake for me!

daily update

Today was a good day. I had a calorie deficit of 682 calories, Yay. No worries I ate over my goal amount of calories but I got lots of exercise. I took a 2 mile bike ride and headed home since my quads were really sore from all the riding yesterday. So since I cut my riding short I decided to go for a walk afterwards. So the husband, dog, and I walked a couple of fast miles. Overall I am very happy with my stats today.

In bike news I finally found the pressure gauge for my tires. Turns out that even though I had put air in after I got the bike that my tires were still quite under inflated (underflated? Deflated?) The info on the tires says do not inflate over 40lbs. I ended up putting in around 25lbs in and the tires feel much better. I rode a little bit in the driveway but it was getting dark out and I didn't want to go out on the road. So now that I put some more air in them and hopefully riding will be easier tomorrow. I also raised my seat some to hopefully the ride height. I think the fact it was so low was partially why my quads hurt so much. So I will see if that makes a difference.

It's going to be pretty warm again tomorrow, which is nice, but too warm during the day to ride. I have been waiting until after dinner to ride but that unfortunately leaves me with little time to ride. I am still feeling a little weird riding by myself. It probably doesn't help that I ride a pink cruiser..it draws a lot of attention. I love it but I dunno it is shaking my confidence a little while I am out. I don't think that it helps that I have to ride pretty slow since I am starting out. I spend a lot of time pushing through the discomfort in my quads (not pain) so sometimes I go pretty slow. I am hoping that it get easier soon.

So I think I have blabbed enough for one day!

Day 1 WIN

SO just to check in I rode just under 5 miles today. I took two shorter trips as planned. The first ride I aimed for 3 miles (2.71) and the second ride I just decided to go for fun before it got too dark. The second ride was about 2 miles(1.85). Not too shabby. It is still hard but I am trying to push through the pain. I keep telling myself that I cannot get better until I push through my comfort zone.

As far as calories I am at 1435 right now and I burned around 450. So as I said before I am aiming between 1300 and 1400 so I was a little bit over but with the bike rides I am ok. I just want to make sure that I am burning about 500 calories more than I am consuming through out the day.

In other news I have a job interview tomorrow, it is not a teaching job but it has benefits. It is a part time us cellular position which I am hoping will allow me to substitute teacher a couple days a week. It will at least allow us to have some more steady money coming in. I am thinking I will start applying for teaching jobs next year when I am feeling more secure financially and emotionally.

Well thats life for today.

1,2,3

I have chosen to try out calorie counter again. I kept my calories pretty reasonable I am aiming from 1300 to 1400. I am aiming to get in some movement everyday, mostly biking. I think this is more of a way to be more conscious of what I am eating. Instead of just grabbing a candy bar, I will try to think about if I even really want it.

I had a small realization today. It was 11:30am and I was trying to plan my day. SO I thought "ok whats for lunch.....wait I'm not even hungry!" I was just going through the motions. An hour later, I am still not hungry. I am still waiting to get hungry. I want to feel hunger again. I am tired of being afraid to feel hungry, feeling hungry it not going to kill me. I think I was always worried that I would be caught hungry and end up eating poorly because of circumstances.

I may get hungry, but I will survive lol

riding schedule

As I was reading my new copy of Weight Watcher's Magazine I was surprised to see a new weekly exercise installment based on biking. It has an 8 week plan to get you riding up to 36 miles straight. It's pretty intense. You ride 4 days a week, the first installment is 6 miles (30 minutes). Now I mentioned before that I have been doing short rides. It is tough, they have been typically 15-20 minutes I think and wow what a workout. I am not sure that 6 miles to start out is realistic for most newbies, even on flat terrain thats a lot.

I decided to check out how far my rides have been on Mapmyrun.com basically about 2 miles tops. I played around to see where I could ride the 6 miles. After checking it out I am thinking that I will actually start out with 2, 3 mile rides in a day 4 days out of the week. So I will count this as my first week,yesterday as being day1. I plan on riding today, Friday, and Saturday. Next week I will try to move on to 6 miles straight. I think it will basically turn the 8 week plan into a 9 week plan.. no big deal. Just customizing it to my needs ; )

So far I have not felt any muscle soreness the next day, which hopefully will continue. I am definitely getting my heart rate up even on these little rides. Yesterday I made a basket for my bike. I simply took a basket from the craft store ($3.50), sewed a liner ($3), and used zip ties to hook it to the bike. This basket will hold my water bottle and cell phone. It is a pretty small basket but I think it will work for me now. For some reason blogger isn't letting me upload the picture : (

Anonymity

Anonymous, am I making the right choice? Sometimes I wonder if choosing to be anonymous on my blog is simply another way of letting myself off the hook. Sure I don't really want the world to know my weight but on the other hand..they can SEE me. So what's the big deal. Perhaps I show my face and share my life. There is a possibility that no one from my life would find me anyways.

I am toying with the idea of putting it all out there. Holding myself truly accountable. My other concern is that I will start to censor myself. I my stop speaking from the heart because someone I know might see and laugh at me. I know that it is a seemingly juvenile fear, but it is real.

Are you anonymous? Do you share your life freely? Why did you choose your path?

Focus

As you may have noticed I have been really leaning towards climbing back onto the weight loss wagon. It seems very convenient that I got two healthy living magazines in the mail today! Weight Watchers and Women's Health. Both magazine that I really love. They are really going to be helpful in getting me into health mode. Yay.

In other news I finally bit the bullet and weighed myself this morning....not pretty. I weighed in at 192.8 lbs. Yikes. I really miss the 170's and to think I was so focused on getting to the 160's I never appreciated how far I come gone and how much better I felt at 170 something.

I want back to the 170's. I am ready to focus on my health.

The bike is here!

Love it!

I do have to say I forgot how hard riding is! What a great workout!!! I have gone out for a couple of very short rides. On my first ride out I totally wiped out and skinned both my knee and elbow. Sure it hurt but I think my pride was far more wounded! It turns out the tires were very under low on air so off I went to go get a tire pump. After that it was much better, no more falls so far.

My goal is to get out on the bike everyday, increasing my distance and conquering the hills on my street. I also plan to make a basket for the front of the bike. It is a one speed bike which I love and hate. I like the simplicity but I am not so sure about the foot brakes. I will update more tomorrow!

Tomorrow

I should get my bike tomorrow! It is scheduled to be delivered sometime tomorrow I am thinking probably in the evening. I am very excited in case you cannot tell ; ) I am going to try to remember to weigh in tomorrow morning. Honestly it has been a couple weeks since I remember weighing in. There is probably a reason for that...the number wasn't pretty. I hadn't hit 200 but it was scary close.

I am feeling pretty lousy in my body lately. My clothes aren't fitting and I am not confident in myself at all. My belly is just soo big and I hate it. I am in constant fear of strangers asking if I am pregnant. Its just how I carry my weight. I should be glad I don't gain in other places but instead I live in fear of the embarrassment of people asking if I am prego. Yes it has happened before, 5 times. Humiliating.

I just want to get back to that place where I felt comfortable in my body. Sure I still wanted to lose weigh but we I was in my low 170's I felt really good. I was happier and more confident. I was proud of my accomplishments. I don't know how I got back here. I mean I don't know at what point I lost control of it.

I am not going to cry or say why me. Instead I am going to make some changes. Starting with my bike. I am going to make a conscious effort to ride everyday for at least 30 minutes. I am also going to try to pay more attention to what and how much I eat. No really structured plan of eating at first. I am focusing on activity first.

It is time to take care of my health. I have focused on school, the move, and the new house. Now it is time to focus on health. I will post some pics of the new bike tomorrow (hopefully)!

Choices

SO I was at the grocery store today thinking about what to buy to snack on this week. I have very little room in my grocery budget after the bbq yesterday and walked over to the chip aisle to grab a bag. Then something happened, I stopped turned and and walked to the carrots haha. Yep I decided that I would have some baby carrots instead (with left over ranch dip from the bbq) I thik I will be happier with them than the bag of chips.

In other news I was also checking out the bike helmets and was pretty disapointed. They seem to all be very masculine or have Dora the Explorer on them. Hrmm. So my question is....Do you wear a helmet when you ride? What do you like about it or hate about it (besides the whole save your brain thing)?

Bike

Hey all sorry that I have been pretty MIA lately. The past couple weeks have been kind of tough with lots of changes and family issues. But for a change of pace how about good news! My bike is ordered and should be here this week! YAY! My husband was able to work the budget to cover it and some friends and family contributed. I cannot wait!!

For those of you who missed the previous bike post. Here is picture!

Need to slow down.

I got a speeding ticket 2 days before my birthday...which is today. Money is so tight that I just want to cry. My fear is that I just lost my chance to get my bike. My heart is broken. I am too scared of the answer to ask the hubby about it. Well tomorrow is pay day so I guess we will see if he surprises me.

I really want my bike but if it means that we will be financially strapped then I understand its for the best to wait. Being without a job stinks. I hate having to depend on my husbands paycheck.

I feel like this bike could really be a great way to kickstart my weightloss again. I just hope it works out!

Birthday wishes

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