stress monkey

I'm feeling so stressed. I think it is all getting to me. There is so much going on with school and my internship. I just feel like I am going to explode.

I have been thinking about my life and so much will be changing in the next year. We are looking to move to a new area which is incredibly different. We are moving up north to a smaller less populated less diverse, more closed minded area.

It isn't ideal but it is where my husband's family lives and we can afford to buy a home there. We have been talking about having children in the next few years, once I finish school, we move, we buy a house, and I get a job. We just cannot afford to live where we are now. Homes in Portland, Maine are so expensive and the taxes are out of this world. We could afford a shack on the train tracks here. Or we can move and live in a nice home and have children.

I'm talking about living a 45 minute drive from the nearest Target/city area. There is a grocery store and one restaurant. Its pretty scary for me. I have never lived in the country. I hope it is the right decision.

I have so much work to do for school and student teaching. I have to do portfolios, teach and record myself teaching! I hate that. I just want to be left alone to teach. I also have 3 grad level methods classes which give me assignments I have to fit into the school day.

To top this all off I am trying to get healthy and lose some weight. I just want so badly to skip ahead a year and be working. I want to find a home and work on building our life. I am sick of this constant state of pressure.