fallen

Yeah I could feel myself falling off the wagon today but fortunately I realized what I was doing and caught myself. My main issue was being home and being bored wanting to eat all day. I have also been easing off on my water intake and I know that is hurting me. 

So my plan of action is to go mix up a huge bottle of sugar free koolaid and to not eat again until dinner (5pm) . No more snacking for me this afternoon! 

I haven't yet gotten to try my yoga dvd but I have only had 1 diet coke today. 

Weekly goals

I was thinking of starting to setting a weekly goal, so for the remainder of this week my goal is to cut back on the diet coke and increase the water. 

Small steps  seem to work well for me. If I can commit to the small things and  I am able to reach those goals it seems to help me work towards the big picture. 

So since I am home this week (I drink way more dc when I am home) my goal is to limit myself to two diet cokes a day and the rest will be water. 

With that being my primary goal I also want to set a simple second goal. My second goal is to test out my new yoga dvd tomorrow!!

The OG

No not the OC but the OG, Olive Garden. I went to lunch with a friend of mine today at the OG and boy was it good. It was rediculously high in points and not I am scambling for a low point dinner but over all worth it. I do have to say that the one thing that I truely get from being on ww is balancing what you eat. If you have cake for lunch then have salad for dinner type of thing. 

Weigh in results

Wooo down 2lbs! Take that Christmas cookies, chocolate pie, and crackers with cheese! I won!

Weight

So I weighed myself this morning and I haven't gained anything from the hoidays I may have even lost a bit. Not quite sure as I wasn't wearing jeans when I weighed myself and thats what I weigh in at ww. I think I can attribute this to the fact that I missed a lot of meals because of the appitizer type foods that we had most days. No real sit down meals except for Christmas dinner. 

So we will see how that holds for tomorrow morning. I am off to buy some groceries!!

Back home

SO I am home. Christmas went as well as it could considering that we had a major loss in our family. My great grandmother died in her sleep in Christmas eve. She was in her late 80's and very alive and healthy up until the day she died. At first I cried but then I realized that she lived a long life and that atleast she is with my great grandfather now. She has been a lone for 10+ years now and I know that that has to have been hard for her. I will miss her.

I'm off

Well I am off for the holidays and will not be posting until Saturday probably at the earliest. It's going to be a tough week but I really plan on giving it my best while on the road. Now I am off to clean my house/earn some activity points ; ) I hate coming home to a dirty apartment after a long trip! There is nothing nicer than that first night home in your own bed!

Small goal setting

With Christmas being this week and me being away from home for 5 days straight I am not expecting a huge loss next week but I really wanted to set a goal. My goal for next weigh in is ..dah dah dah... 1 pound.

 I know maybe it isn't very challenging but for me to be out of my comfort zone it is actually a huge goal. It is me resolving to say no I will not gain, I will not eat for the sake of eating, and I will break my holiday patterns. Here is to one more pound down next week. 

PS I will eat a couple cookies, I will have Christmas dinner, and I will get in some activity. Snowball fight anyone?

Very interesting weigh in.

So firstly I weighed in this morning down 4.6lbs YAY!! The downside is that leaving weight watchers I slid off the road for about 20ft and had to rely on the help of strangers to push me out.  It was pretty scary. I had expected poor weather today but it wasn't supposed to happen until the evening. Wrong it hit just as I got to weight watchers. I love the idea of snow but driving in it is a completely different story. 

First real weigh in.

So I am weighing in tomorrow morning because although my meeting is Monday night I have decided to weigh in on Sunday mornings because it is in the morning. Therefore there will be no day of freaking out about what I eat and how much I drink. 

 Hopefully they won't give me to hard of a time since technically it hasn't been a  full week since my last weigh in. I do have the monthly pass so it won't be a money issue. 

*

I'm tired, relieved, a little pissed off, and worried. 

Firstly it has been the week from hell trying to get all my work/studying in. 

Secondly my finals are done thank goodness. 

Thirdly I got a D in physiopsych which means I have to retake the class next semester to get the C I need. Bonus suck I am already taking 5 classes (3psych) and this will make 6 (4psych). 

Last but not least I still have no idea if I have a job as of Jan 1. 

Food is good though. I still have 1 pt to go today and no desire to use it. I am hoping to get back on with my running this week and relieve some stress. 

Sometimes life sucks but you push on. I am trying really hard to focus on the positives but messing up this class has really got me down. I cannot time wise or financially afford this extra class next semester but in order to graduate in May I have to push on. On the plus side I have only turned to food to deal with stress once this week and I managed to work the rest of my days points around the oops. 

Finals weeks...

So I am just crazy tired and busy this week with finals. I am rocking the weight watchers 4 days at my points and not a one of my flex used yet!! It actually hasn't been too hard because I have been taking the time to plan for my lunches. Dinners have been simple and I am working hard to includes veggies in my meals. Mostly peppers this week. 

Now I am off to do a little more studying and then off to bed!! Wish me luck!

and it was....

GOOD, other than the receptionist not having a clue about how to set up my monthly pass since I signed up online. My meeting leader is a riot, she is an ex nun, now school teacher, and she has really great stories. 

Today was my first full day of counting points and I'm not going to lie, its tough.  I have been so used to just eating because the urge strikes that now that I have to thin about it I am a little frustrated. I'm out of points and a little "hungry" I think or bored, stressed, Not thristy though. I got in more that the alloted beverage requirement in today. 

I weighed in at my highest weight ever today. That was a tough one. I knew it was coming but it still stung. I have never posted my weight on my blog before but I am starting to feel like it is the best way to keep me really accountable to you and myself. I weighed in at 193.4. It scares me that I am that close to 200lbs, I know that it is time for change.

Going to the ....

weight watchers meeting and I'm gonna get weighed in. Gooooing to lose some pounds. Yeah, anyways I'm heading out so I will let you know how I feel about my first meeting back! PS I signed up for the month card so I have free etools and they rock.

a different kind of food journal

Coming off a crappy food eating binge I have decided to make a list of foods that aren't really as yummy as they seem to be in my mind. These are the same foods that are so appealing while I am dieting , the ones that make me want to go over my points.

 So I created a file on my computer that I will write all that info down so that when the craving hits I can review. I can remember how rubbery chicken mcnuggets are and how boxed shells and cheese is pretty tasteless. Homemade tastes so much better. 

On a different note I also purchased some frozen dinners, which I plan on using for emergencies only. I will eat those on the nights that I want to order pizza because I am too tired to cook anything. Not the best thing to eat but much better than copious amounts of greasy (delicious) pizza. They last a long time so I don't have to worry about replacing them regularly, so they are basically a dinner first aid kit. 

I am getting ready!! Tomorrow is the day! Yay!

Sweetest present ever

My dear friend gave me the sweetest Christmas present yeasterday. It was a simple little box with three little notes inside. They said...

My holiday wish for you is.... to recognize how beautiful you are inside and out

What I love about you is...... your free spirit. You do not care what others think. You are Snow White with a diva side that shops at awesome thrifty stores. Stay lovely and open hearted.

Thank you for ...being my diva. You have an awesome ability to make me laugh and feel good about myself. Thank you for loving every part of me. 

Needless to say it was by far the most meaningful present I am sure I will get this year. It is a gift like this that makes you realize just how lucky you are to have people who love you just the way you are. It is an amazing thing and I am blessed.

Things I know..

I know that I am not a consistent loser, I usually lose, gain a little, and lose big, lose a little, gain. This rattles my mindset terribly. I am so affected by a gain that I tend to binge. 

I know that I will probably not see a loss when I start working out more. It will take time to balance out.

I know that socializing/eating out is one of my downfalls.

I know that I will get insatiable cravings in the afternoon and that I should plan to have a defense against them. 

I know that stress will make me want to turn to food but that exercise is a better choice.

I know that I prefer a little of the real thing instead of a lot of a fake food

I know that the number shouldn't matter but it does.

I know that I can count on you bloggers to pick me up when I am down and to motivate em through your good work. 

I know I can do this.

I found a very exciting deal!! Yoga for beginners kit made 

by the Firm company only $14.99!! As you can see in the picture it came with 2 dvds, foam block, mat, and strap. 

Mario tested and approved!

my poor wasted lunch

Does anyone else have this problem? I will pack a lovely lunch, healthy and something that looks good at the time. Then lunch rolls around I can't get myself to eat it, it looks totally unappealing. It doesn't really matter what it is, it just doesn't look good. This is to the point that I would rather not eat at all than eat that food. So in turn I don't eat then I end up binging on junk because I get too hungry.

SO I guess what I want to know is how do you get excited about your lunch, how do I get into the mindset of eating to live rather than being so picky? Any one have a good books on learning to eat to live?

Just putting this out there

I am terrified that I will fail at weight watchers again, that the plan just wont work for me. Although I would rather be stuck at 175 my typical plateau then where I am now. 

Good idea

So I got a great idea after reading Diet Coke and Zingers' blog she says that the average american GAINS 11 pounds over the holidays. Wow. So since I am usually the exception to the rule I have decided that I will try to lose 11lbs over the holidays! So my goal is to lose the 11 pounds by January 2nd (or 5th since that is my official weigh in day) 

Who is with me? Let's be the exception to the rule together this year!

A little help here...please

So I am trying to plan a little bit in advance for my next ww journey and I know my biggest issue is that I dont like veggies. I am hoping that someone can give me tips or links on how to cook veggies so that they taste better in a healthy way. I am will to try veggies again but I guess I just don't know what to do with them. 

What I KNOW I  like

sweet potato

white potato

cucumber

lettuce

cooked carrots in soup

peppers

I really do not like, not even a little....

celery

onions (except powder to season)

broccoli (except in broc and cheddar soup)

butternut squash

I have had yellow squash cut up really tiny, mixed in risotto and I was ok with that so it is one veggie that I am really interested in finding a good recipe on. 

Any tips would be lovely!! Thanks in advance!

Crazy mode

Today and the past couple of days I have been feeling food crazy. You know that panicked have to eat this now because I wont be able to soon kind of eating. Weight watchers is starting in less than a week and I AM ready. I am excited to start fresh but I don't want to start until I weight in officially. 

This is my reasoning, if I lose weight before I weigh in then I will feel ripped off because at 10lbs I might only be at 5lbs according to weight watchers. Ok yeah it seems a little anal retentive but that is just the way my twisted little mind works. 

I am going out to dinner to celebrate a friends birthday tomorrow night and then on Friday we do a little dinner/christmas celebration with friends. Fun times. Its good because I am going to end up spending a lot of time in the next weekend/week studying hardcore. This semester will be over soon thank goodness!

Busy bee

I am busy wow its crazy. Finals are next week and I have 3. Two of those are very important as in need a decent grade in order to pass the classes. I babysat last night and am heading to babysit tonight for a few hours. I have a math exam tomorrow and I'm tired. 

On the plus side I am making extra money to pay for my weight watchers membership and in two weeks I'll be done and have a month off from school. That means I am getting on the weight watchers wagon at just the right time because I will be off of school and able to focus on my health. I will be able to get into a good rhythm and get this weight off! Yay for fresh starts and progress.

What do you want from me?

I feel that it is necessary to look at why I have drop out of weight watchers in the past. Well I stopped losing weight. I stopped doing what I needed to do to make ww work for me. Here are a few reasons I stopped working the weight watchers plan.

-I wasn't working the food plan and working out at the same time

-I was abusing the system/finding fiber loop holes

-Not drinking enough water

-the numbers, all numbers all the time, got to me. 

-self sabotage- don't buy cookies!

-I was counting points of parts of the meal then adding them together. 

-ex. 1 pita =1pt but 2pitas=3pts

-I found it so hard to socialized because I felt that I couldn't eat what I wanted to eat or drink alcohol freely if I wanted to ( I really don't drink much at all in general, only when I'm out with friends)

-I plateaued and couldn't get past 175 for months

-I got mad that I was paying so much money to NOT lose weight.

-I took a break which lasted too long, got out of hand, and never ended.

-I blamed the program

- I gave up on myself because it was easier then trying harder

SO just some ideas that I wanted to get out there so that I don't fall into the same mind traps again. Right now I am working on...

-drinking my water

-working out on the regular

-prepaying for my first 10 weeks of weight watchers.

Next week ....weight watchers!

Not too much happening here...

....except maybe eating everything in sight. Yeah I am going through the eat all the things now that you wont be eating once you start weight watchers again. Shocking right? 

Ok not so much I do this every time and every time my husband says "Why are you eating all that crap its just going to make it harder because it is just more calories you will have to burn eventually." He means this in the best possible way, he's very supportive, and I'll be honest he's right. 

I know it's a ridiculous thing to do but its one of those habits that are hard to break. It's very simpler to a binge except it is much more planned. It's premeditated bingeing with a planned stop date. Speaking of bingeing check out  *bitchcakes* because she really hits home with her post on the topic. 

Ready...set....go

SO I returned the less than great $100 running shoes that I purchased and I am officially planning on using that money to join weight watchers again, starting on the 15th. All I have left to figure out is whether to do the monthly (debit from my account) or pay the 10 sessions in advance. I do appreciate the perk of having free etools with the monthly plan but I don't like that the money comes out automatically 2 weeks before each month starts, especially with my possible money woes. Any oppinions? Any one use the monthly pass?

Interesting..

SO interesting things are happening in my body today, I am feeling really ok with food. It's kind of strange I feel like I am not having cravings for food, I am more eating to live. 

Why? you may ask. Well I am thinking it is due to the fact that I have gone off my birth control. No I'm not trying to get prego. I just wanted to get off having to take pills and messing with my body. I wanted to see how my body really is. I think that I may be having some side effects that are effecting my emotions. I am so moody, sleepy, and to be honest sooo not in the mood. my poor husband. But anyways before we go too far into the gutter ; ) I just think that I want to see what happens. 

It would be really nice if I lost a little weight from coming off the pill, that would be nice. 

Ran last night...just thought I'd throw that out there.  ; ) When I was done I was amazed at how quickly it was over.  Such  small part of my day to give over to a good thing for my body.

A sign?

Hey wait..what,  yeah, it was....it's a sign.  I have two more babysitting jobs lined up for the next week/weekend. Oh you aren't following? Let me explain. Weight watchers costs big $ which I do not have so I figured that I would save up babysitting money so I can pay for a couple months in advance. 

Also I have been getting harassing calls from my friend begging me to rejoin ww with her again. And in addition my co teacher is interested in joining with me to. Is that enough signs or what?

I am thinking that it is a good idea and I need the accountability of weighing in. My financial reservations still remain however. I am in a grant funded position that needs to be renewed but might not be due to poor financial times. My grant is done at the end of this month, they are just discussing the renewal now. SO basically I could be tossed on my butt at the end of the month. jobless with more important bills then weight watchers.   Also I feel that I should save that extra money just in case of me losing my job. 

---Just a note I work at a preschool/daycare so parents ask me to babysit once in a while, I am not a 13 year old, I swear ha ha.