Thursday, April 24, 2008
Ok so I work at a daycare and at certain points in the day my stress levels skyrocket. For example trying to get 10 four year olds and 12 five year olds to lay quietly for 2.5 hours. I work usually until 2 which is right near the end of nap so I leave feeling pretty stressed. Today my first thoughts as I was preparing to leave were "Oh man I am going to hit Mcdonald's drive through" I wasn't hungry. I had a good lunch and I realized that I was eating to make myself feel better. Instead I chose to head home and have some 97% fat free popcorn and a diet coke. It was a good choice and even though I still have a little micky-ds craving I feel ok. What a revelation. I don't need junk food to feel better, weird.
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
Ok so I am a 3rd time drop out non-loser. What can I do besides pick myself back up and try again. At least it is summer now, and I want to be outside much more. SO I feel the need to purge my mind, I cheated, I quit, and I completely disgustingly pigged out big time. I did it, I own it and now I need to fix it. Did I mention I gained, yeah I gained a lot well all of it back. How the hell did I manage to put it all back on so quickly? Oh yeah did I mention I ate A LOT.
I stopped counting points because it was making me seriously crazy but really maybe it was keeping me on track. If I am going to think about food all the time then I might as well think about how I should eat well not about the next doughnut.
Ok on a nicer note I plan on doing the weight watcher thing again but this time no weight ins because that was another thing that made me a little crazy. I always had to weight in at night so I spent the whole weight in day worrying about drinking too much water etc. I am going to focus on how I feel weighting in only twice a month. That way when I gain a little due to working out it won't feel like a failure.
Holy long post Batman, long story short.....I'm back. keep the comments coming I'll need them!