Saturday, January 31, 2009


PS the following posts shall be much more motivating and positive. I promise.

Umm tomorrow.

Today was ok, I ate without counting again but overall it was a pretty typical day. I had a big salad for lunch and a sandwich for dinner, so nothing really too damaging today although I was a little heavy on snacking.

I think that I have decided to use my no weigh in pass this week because I think that seeing a gain would just send me over the edge. Although for all I know I could have a loss because I haven't really been weighing myself today but I think that it would be doubtful. I am not really sure how not weighing in will effect my BLBE contribution but I will have to ask Angie about it.

I feel exhausted and just overall sluggish. I know it is from my poor health habits and therefore I know how to fix it. Tomorrow starts my new weight watchers week and I am going to focus on that. It is a new start every week and so I will treat it that way.

By the way I do plan on going to my meeting even though I am not weighing in because I know that it will help me get back on the right track.

I have a little homework to do tomorrow and I think that I will head over to the bookstore to focus and get it done. I am also going to browse and purchase a book that will help me feel motivated. Any tips for a feel good/motivation book?

Friday, January 30, 2009

You are amazing.

Thank you all for the amazingly lovely comments. Some days it really shocks me to think that I have such an amazing group of people who are understanding and just here to support me because they have been where I am. Thank you.

I truly believe that you all are going to be the reason that I really do this this time around. Even though I know that I CAN do this there are just some days that threaten to tear me down and today was definitely one of those days.

I will be honest I absolutely went a bit over my points today, I let go and ate until I was satisfied/satiated. It included a couple ice cream sandwiches and tacos. It did help me feel better because I was free for that 5 hour period and I could have done much worse. I could have hit every fast food joint on the road but I didn't. Instead I choose to eat what I wanted without feeling frenzied/crazy like a typical binge. I was thinking about what I was eating, knowing what I wanted and choosing to eat it. I enjoyed what I had instead of just cramming everything in sight into my mouth. I am not making excuses by any means but it does seem like a minor improvement.

I am proud that I have been able to blog about my mistakes because before I would have just dropped off and not blogged. Progress.

I am going to head to bed with some healthy motivating reading. I am going to wake up in the morning refreshed and ready for the weekend. I may not see a loss when I weigh in Sunday but tomorrow is a new day and I might as well get started on my loss for next week.

I see much water in my future.

I failing, I can feel it. I am starting to care less and less about what I eat. Today I even thought "Oh well screw it I want it. I ate what I wanted and didn't care that it used up all my points by 3pm. I didn't care that I didn't leave myself any wiggle room for tomorrow. I didn't care that I weigh in on Sunday and I know I will bloat.

I need to kick start myself. I am recognizing a pattern from my past, where I give up and say screw it. I have so many excuses, veggies are soo expensive right now, I have no time to cook with school, I am stressed, I'm not losing much, I love to eat out, and I miss fried chicken. I miss just grabbing something to eat and not thinking about it. I miss not having to plan EVERYTHING I put in my mouth.

I actually had the thought today that I might as well just eat what I want because I am not going to lose this week anyways.

Why is it that it is so easy to quit?

Ok don't panic, I am not quitting but holy cow am I tempted to. I just need to stop and think a bit so that I can start caring again.

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Relationship thoughts on a snowy day

With my schedule quickly filling up with school, work, and social obligations I know that I have got to focus on making time for whats important in my life. Firstly I have scheduled time for all my classes, studying, working out, and weight watchers meeting. Socially I am not to active, I prefer to be a homebody for the most part.

Although I spend the bulk of my free time at home with my husband I have realized that I am not really spending time with him. We are both usually on our laptops or even in different rooms watching our favorite shows. We have even been know to watch the same show but in different rooms. It is not nessesarily on purpose but it happens. So since I have been thinking about it I decided to do something about it.

DATE NIGHT! I personally have never liked the idea of scheduling date time with my husband because to me it seems so forced. I feel the same about obligatory sex (birthday, hotel ect.) I prefer spontaneity. However in a time of necessity I am going to give date night a try. I am going to come home and bath and primp just like I would have before we were married, taking time to make my husband feel special. (I'm a pjs when at home kinda of girl) We will go to dinner or order in (not having to cook is key) and we will watch a movie together (sans laptops, in the same room, possible cuddling)

I think that it is just really important with all the rush of life that we make a conscious effort to spend time together. In the future when my schedule slows down it may not be nessessary to schedule a date night or maybe it might just be so great that we keep it going. The least that we can do is try. PS We have a happy relationship this is more about making it even better.

Sunday, January 25, 2009


I want to eat. I want crackers, toast, chips, waffles, french fries, and cereal. I am already 5 points into my flex this week (which started today). I really want a big bowl of popcorn (i'm out) and I think that peanut butter toast would work but I am not wanting to use the points.

I am chewing really minty gum to fight the urge to eat. I have chuggalugged a ton of water and that didn't work either. Maybe a bath? Um already did that too. Crap, this is hard. I am all caught up on my bloggers. I am struggling a little tonight. This is my last resort, to blog about it. Um yeah, it didn't work.

I think I am going to go take another bath...

NO change.

I stayed the same. No loss but still NO gain. It's ok, I kinda had an idea it was going to happen, I always weigh myself before I go so that it isn't too much of a shock when I get my official weight.

I did ok this week, I totally slacked on my water intake though. I was also having my period so that never helps. I am not going to be disappointed, I see it as an experiment that shows that I need to drink my water to stay on top of my game. It is just one week and next week I should be seeing a good loss.

Last week before I was focusing on eating breakfast I decided to try drinking a bottle of water first thing in the morning in place of coffee. That worked pretty well and I am going to try to incorporate it into my breakfast again.

Overall eating breakfast wasn't much of a change diet wise for me, I really didn't notice a difference other than I was really hungry around 10:30-11. I guess that would be my metabolsim revving up? I am going to keep eating breakfast for at least another week and see how it goes.

America's top model is marathoning today so I will hop on the treadmill and get some time exercising in. I'm going to schedule that in for 2pm. I am a big fan of scheduling exercise in just like everything else that is important in your life. Look at you schedule and write in time for activity. I write it in my paperbook, its on my computer, and it is on my ipod. I also keep and white board by my bed so I can write what activity I did each day and it serves as a visual aid for when I drop off in my activity. Some people use calendars and stickers, whatever works for you. It is just good to be able to see your accomplishments.

Weekly goals to be noted later today. Take care and have a lovely day.

Saturday, January 24, 2009

Weekend goal status

Movie with husband~ DONE
Treadmill time 30 min~ DONE
Water~ DONE
Up by 9 today~ FAIL

Sunday TO DO..

Up Early
Weigh in
30 min treadmill and a DVD



If you don't follow this should.



I am glad that tomorrow starts a new week for me, I will weigh in in the morning, not expecting much for a loss this week. I have been within my points but overall it just hasn't felt like a good weight loss week. I am just getting done my period and I am feeling pretty bloated and yucky.

Do you ever notice that some weeks you just feel good? You can feel that your body is healthy and relaxed. Well this week has not been at all like that. I just feel a bit crummy. I guess no exercise and very little water intake will do that to you.

So far I haven't had any diet coke today and about 40 oz of water, so not too bad. I am planning on watching a movie with the husband (2nd viewing of The Dark Knight). I am seriously thinking about hoping on the treadmill for at least 30 minutes before plus that will help me get some water in. You know what I am going to go get on the treadmill RIGHT NOW!! I know it will make me feel better and even more energized!! Woo

Take Care LOVELIES!!

Friday, January 23, 2009

I know what to do but I still haven't pulled my self together yet this evening. I am not doing anything horrid but I am still wanting to eat everything in sight. I didn't get on the treadmill and I am still drinking my diet coke. ( I feel like the little child who always tells on themselves) I know that I have some underlying stress and anxiety over my school stuff but I am dealing with it the best I can.

I want to get on the treadmill but I feel totally crappy. I am coming off my period, I feel bloated, and lazy. I am writing today off. It is a wasted day as far as health goes and i think I am just going to go to bed with a book. I already bubble bathed (yes I used it as a verb)trying to stop my mindless eating, I tried chewing minty gum, and bed is my last save my healthy diet resort. PS how sad is that?

My plan for tomorrow is to get up at a reasonable hour (9ish) and eat breakfast. I need to devote about 2-3 hours to homework and then I should be pretty free for the weekend. I've decided since today was such bust I am going to make the most of my weekend. I weigh in on Sunday and I need to get it together. So I have decided to set some weekend goals.

1. Drink 90%water
2. Get my homework done Saturday (mental health)
3. Treadmill at least 1 hour total
4. Do one workout dvd
5. Get up by 9am
6. Watch a movie with the husband

Some goals are easier than others but none the less they are all part of a healthy weekend whether it is for my mental or physical health. But really are mental and physical two parts of just health?

More Diet Coke disscussion.

I think that I have been doing the crazy night time eating thing again. I think that it IS because I am drinking copious amounts of diet coke again.

I tend to pick up a diet coke at school to stop myself from feeling deprived of the fried or sugary goodness. It stops the mindless eating while studying. It is the evening that is the problem I come home and start drinking the dc around 6. I really feel that there is a correlation between the evening dc drinking and the non stop munching.

Oh yeah and the water drinking is seriously lacking due to always having a dc on hand. So I guess one test is to stop drinking Diet Coke after dinner.Or maybe even just drink it at school as a treat. Wait I think I just talked myself into a circle, didn't I just try the no diet coke at home thing...yeah and failed miserably. I am really thinking more and more that I might need to just stop drinking the dc all together.

Ahhh I don't know. It is so hard to give up a 0 calorie treat!!


I just ate a full bag of chips, with ranch dip. I ate without thinking, barely even enjoying it. I went to the store bought them and came on to sit and eat them. I had to stop and own this. I had to write down how crappy it makes me feel to know that I ate that.
It is not the end of the world, I had the weekly points to cover it. I at least chose baked kettle chips (10pts for the bag) and I threw the rest of the dip away. It just makes me made that I could have enjoyed those 20 points on something much more enjoyable. I got caught up in the craving and just let loose.
I think that it is important to post about the bad as well as the good because weight loss is a journey of ups and downs. I am embarrassed that I had that mini binge but I am also proud because I stopped. Six months ago I would have gone on a full out, eat whatever I want until I want to puke because I already screwed up so I might as well go crazy. Today I stopped, I threw away the junk and now I am moving on. I am going to drink lots of water to get rid of the sodium and get on the treadmill to create some balance.

I am human and I am a learner.

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Hello there lovely...

Hi my name is Jess and I feel like I have been a bad blogger this week!! Ok I know its ok because you all love me so much that you will let it slide ....this time. ; )
So this semester is already knocking me over with work but I am fighting hard to keep on top of it all. I am trying to keep myself from getting stressed. I read this great quote on stress and I thought that I would share it with you

"Stress comes from knowing what is right and doing what is wrong" Larry Winget

For example you get stressed when you eat mcdonalds because you know you should have packed a sandwich. Think about it. I get stressed about school work usually because I procrastinate. I sit and think "Oh, I should be doing homework but instead I will watch tv...oh I am so stressed" At least that is how the quote really applies to me.

Ok I'm going ot do a little GBU (stolen from this adorable little mouse) for my weekly goals, ready?

Good- I have easily stayed with in my points this week
Bad- I have done very little exercise
Ugly- I am back on the diet coke.

Good- I have been eating breakfast daily
Bad-it makes me really hungry for an early lunch
Ugly- I resorted to slimfast one day

Good- I packed my lunch everyday while at school (even ate it too)
Bad- I forgot my lunch yesterday
Ugly- I chose not to eat lunch instead of eating cafeteria food

Take care and remember that exercise relieves stress way better than ice cream!!

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Quick check in! I stared school again yesterday and once I have my groove back I will be able to keep up much better with my blogging. I packed my lunch yesterday and actually ate it! I have had something for breakfast both yesterday and today. Yesterday was 1/3 of a slimfast and today was toast. Ok well off to class. Good luck to you all, have a healthy, happy day!!

PS I am reading but not posting comments as much sorry.

Monday, January 19, 2009

Down 1.2

So so so you may have noticed on my weight chart that I am down 1.2 this week. I am happy with that number even though it is hard to adjust my mind to being happy with such a small loss. I think I tend to focus on the big picture which isn't a great idea with weight loss. I am really trying to make sure I am thankful for the loss because 1.2 pounds is good, each little 1lb loss adds up and soon it will be 10lbs.  
I totally failed on eating breakfast this morning but with a good reason....I slept through it. I am however prepared for breakfasts the rest of the week. I bought apples, oatmeal, cereal, and granola bars so I have no excuse. 
The next challenge is packing meals for my long days at school. This is one thing I have always struggled with because it seems that I never want to eat what I pack. Then I end up eating junk on campus. I am thinking about leaving my debit card in the car so that I can't use it on junk food. 
Ah can you tell I am nervous for my first day back to school tomorrow?


Sunday, January 18, 2009

Read all before judging please

I'm not going to lie I am feeling a little irritated when I see the BLBE weight lists showing that some people lost 10lbs for the first weigh in!!! Don't get me wrong I am really happen for the individuals who lost the weight, Great job honestly. Personally I have never lost more than 2lbs per week (exception of 1st weigh in at ww) it just seems so unfair that others can drop such big numbers. I mean I am asking for 1lb a week for myself and I probably won't even get that most weeks. It certainly isn't for a lack of trying or following plan, I just don't lose weigh easily at all. 
I dream of stepping on the scale and seeing a 3lb loss I would probably get off the scale and hop back on to make sure it was right. I personally know that I won't be the biggest loser, I didn't really sign up to win. I may win as a team trust me I am all for team spirit (GO A-TEAM) and I have an amazing team that I am already immensely proud of.  I just don't want to let my team down by losing .8 or 1.2 but that may be all I can do. 
Bottom line. my body is like my personality, doesn't want to give up anything it might need later.  I am giving this my best and I will give my team that .8 or 1lb loss because it is moving in the right direction. Slow and Steady baby. 

Rock on A-Team  1.29% of us is gone for good!!


Weekly Goals

Well no weigh in today due to major snow (ew) so I will weigh in tomorrow morning hopefully. So on to goals. Last week I met my water goal easily, didn't eat out and so I stuck to my weekly dinner menu options. As far as running twice, I got in one run but I have been really too ill to push myself like that again. I did get a serious walk in on biggest loser night. I am feeling ok about it. I have also not bought anymore diet coke but I'm not going to lie I miss it a lot!

This weeks main goal is to eat breakfast everyday. Due to all your wonderful comments encouraging me to try eating breakfast I am all in to try it. It is going to be tough but if it is part of living a healthy life and diet then ok I will try. 
Water intake is always a goal, even though I usually meet it, I think it is still important to focus on it. 
The third goal for this week is to not let going back to school derail my healthy food choices. Being surrounded by chips, m&ms, giant cookies, cheeseburgers, and fries is really tough but it is also a part of life.  SO to meet this goal I will pack healthy snacks and try to sit away from the food area of the campus center while I study. 
Ok I am feeling ambitious so a fourth goal for this week is to keep up some activity!! So I want to get in 3 workouts each at least 30 minutes each. I would love for 2 of them to be walk/runs if I have it in me to do it.

Yay for a new week! Yay for my A-Team girls YOU ROCK. 

Technical problems

Hey I just wanted to let everyone know that I am having some issues getting my comments. Usually I get my comments in my email and reply that way instead of through the blog so I am not ignoring you I promise!!! Thanks for all the comments that I missed but caught up on when I looked at my blog.

Saturday, January 17, 2009

Eating out invites

So yesterday my friend invited me to ihop for breakfast Sunday and I kind of panicked a little thinking "high point food that I am not really crazy for".  Since Sunday is my weigh in day I told her I couldn't because I didn't want to eat right before my weigh in and moved on.
Then surprise a text from my friend tonight saying" so ihop after your weigh in tomorrow right?" ok miscommunication there. So I said "ok, see you at 10:15". Not the best plan for my points but it will be nice to visit with her. 

I tend to have a hard time saying no to invitations from friends and those invites usually involve eating out. I also have a hard time ordering food that isn't exactly what I want so I tend to just order what I want and use up using my weekly35 on it. It is something that I definitely need to work on. I am just someone who would rather have a little of the real stuff than a ton of the fake stuff. Example- fat free cheese..not in my house. 

Ok I cannot help myself are you ready for the terrible, probably inappropriate come on have a sense of humor joke?? If not then stop reading.

If girls with big boobs work at Hooters, where do girls with one leg work?
Answer- IHOP  ; )

Breakfast? Is it really necessary?

I'll admit it, I don't really eat breakfast. I am a get out of bed and be out the door in 45minutes kind of girl. I could make time by getting up earlier but it takes me about 2 hours before I can feel like eating in the morning. There is nothing that is appealing to me in the morning. 
With that being said I know that it is recommended to eat breakfast but to me it seems like if I can go without using points on breakfast that leaves me with even more points for the rest of the day. I guess what I am wondering is it hurting my weight loss? Sometimes I have coffee, won't that get my metabolism going, the same as eating? Can drinking something (like milk or creamer) make up for not eating breakfast?

Friday, January 16, 2009

insert clever title

Still a little nervous about exercising today, I don't want to take any chances with the tummy. Food is pretty good today, I am in the low points as planned. I had some yummy subway for lunch and pasta for dinner. I didn't really snack at all today which is good because snacking is always what kills me. 
I don't really have much else to say pretty boring day, ran some errands and cleaned  the house. I also found out that my grant has been delayed so I out of work for yet another week. On the plus side that means I get to start my semester without worrying about work but on the negative it is another week of no pay. 
Oh I guess one interesting thing that happened today was that I got an email from a friend who is very outdoorsy and active. I had asked her if she kayaks and she replied with

"We should make a plan to go kayaking this summer, it will
be fun. Okay, this what we'll do. This late spring, we will go kayaking, (or
canoeing, we have a canoe), rock climbing (you need to try it), sailing (we
have a boat), and we'll end the day by jumping off a huge cliff into a the

Wow those are some big plans and all things that I would never dare to do. But I said yes! I want to have adventures and will the weight that I plan to lose by spring (about 20lbs) I think I will be able to do it. I am so lucky to have a friend that is so willing to take the time to teach me all these things. I am soo excited!! This is the life I want to live and the things I want to do in my spare time instead of sitting on my bum watching reruns on tv. 

Thursday, January 15, 2009


Still recovering today, but I am feeling much better. Believe it or not but I actually wanted to exercise today. Unfortunately I wasn't feeling well enough to do anything. I am hopeful that tomorrow I will at least be able to get in some treadmill time.
 I have been thinking about using the Wendie Plan in the coming month just to mix things up. I am doing a slight modification of it this week, simply having one high point day (today)followed by a low point day to see what will happen. Weigh in is on Sunday so here is hoping for a decent loss to make up for last weeks slightly disappointing number. 
As many of you might know I keep my weekly weight loss goals are pretty low at one pound per week. I am trying to except this as a slow and steady process in which to change my relationship with food. Anything more than the one pound is simply a bonus to me.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Sicky Poo

I just woke up, yea it is almost 5pm. What ever was happening with my stomach craps yesterday got me again this morning. I didn't sleep all night I was in pain so I took a tylenol pm which didn't really work. I got up at 11 and could barely stand up my stomach hurt so bad. I ate a sandwich thinking it might help. I headed to the tub thinking that the hot water would soothe the pain, it helped a little and then I went back to bed. You know I am sick when I cant even read my fav blogs in bed. 

I am feeling a lot better now but I have to say I am so perplexed as to what is going on with my body. I still have a headache/possible fever(can't find my thermometer) so I am laying in bed with a cold cloth on my head. I am still very achey but it is such an improvement from what I felt this afternoon that I can function. 
I have only used 5 points today so I know I can have something really comforting for dinner and not feel overly bad about it. I am thinking spaghetti. It's the only thing the husband can cook and I am not cooking today thats for sure. I am not really hungry at all but I know that I need to eat.  All of a sudden Spaghetti for dinner is sounding really gross. I don't know maybe some soup. We will see. 
I hope you are all doing much better than I am! Take care of your bodies. 

Tuesday, January 13, 2009


I managed with the help of motivation of the biggest loser to walk on my treadmill for 60minutes, yeah thats an hour! Nice since I thought that 30 was going to be a stretch with the cramps I have been having all day. 
I still have 5 points left for the day but since it is almost 10pm I think I won't be getting them in. Is that really bad? Some days I just don't need all those points and some day I go over. I think that as long as I am not regularly way under my daily points it should be fine. I ate 3 meals today but just wasn't really snacky. I ate moderately healthy, getting in some veggies, my dairy, and of course my water. 
What is your opinion on this? DO you think it is bad to not eat all your points once or twice a week? Do you make yourself eat those points?

PS Joelle should have gone home/ I love the orange team
Lalala Lala. Just here not too much to say, went grocery shopping at Whole foods got some good stuff. My tummy is hurting today, a little crampy so I have been just hanging out on the couch today. I am going to take some midol and see if it helps then maybe hope on the treadmill for 30. 

I done pretty well with food today I actually still have 9 points left and have gone above and beyond my water goal for the day. We did eat lunch and dinner in the kitchen but it was hard. I'm not sure we will be able to keep up eating dinner in the kitchen for long but the snacking is a must!

Monday, January 12, 2009

2 goals met/partially met

Today I ran my c25k so run one for the week down so I partially met that goal for the week already! I made a rough draft of possible dinner ideas so that meets another goal. My water intake is good, so so far I am doing well. 

Night snacking-answers

I think that I have found something to try to curb my night time snacking. I found this tip on the weight watchers site, it was actually one of the plateau beating tools. It says that you set ground rules to beat what is holding you back, so for my night time eating it would be that I eat only in the kitchen. 
That means no sneaking into the kitchen on commercial breaks and grabbing something. If I am really hungry then I won't mind sitting in the kitchen while I eat it. However if my favorite show is on then I am not going to want to miss it unless I am really really hungry. 
I have to admit that we are eat dinner in front of the tv types of people and that has to stop. I am going to extend this rule to say that no food leaves the kitchen. We will eat at the table, snack at the table, and be able to focus on what we are eating. Maybe even get some dinner music to relax to. I am going to run the dinner idea past the husband and I will let you know how the kitchen only snacking  works. 

DIet Coke is good

Some of you may remember not too long ago when I quit drinking diet coke for about 4 months. I quit cold turkey and it wasn't that hard for me even though I was drinking 6-10 cans a day. I ended up drinking it again because it was a "free" sweet treat while I was on weight watchers. 
As you may have guessed I am thinking about stopping my dc habit. I am drinking 2-4 a day now which is a vast improvement from before. I still hate the idea of being addicted to something, and DC is adictive for me. I crave it when I am stressed, happy, and bored. 
Yes it is a seemingly safe diet treat but water is better. I feel better when I drink more water. I want to note that it isn't a fake sugar issue with me, I understand the risks of fake sugar but it is my choice to use or not use them. When I drink my water I usually use a flavor packet to help me from getting water bored. I am currently in love with sugar free grape kool-aid. As a matter of fact I have bee choosing the sf kool-aid over the DC lately and I am ok with that. 
So  some of my goals lately have been to cut down on my dc and to drink more water, I am going to stick with that same idea. I am going to try to cut down to 1 diet Coke a day until my supply is gone. I have about 3 left in the box. Then I will see how I feel and maybe not buy any more fridge packs. I may drink it when I am out at dinner, or pick up a bottle at the store when I am running errands but I want it to become a treat rather than an addiction. 
I am a big fan of moderation and that is what I am working on in my life. I want to make eating out a special occasion or treat. I want to eat cake but not just because it is there rather because it is a treat. I want to make these things special. When you eat out all the time you don't even enjoy it as much, if you ate cake everyday it would get boring (maybe), I don't have to work out 5 hours a day, but 30min to an hour is good. It is time to realize that moderation is key. 

On another note I am down 2lbs today, but since I was up 1.2 last week it is really just a .8 loss but I am ok with it. I worked really hard this week and just because it didn't necessarily show up this week, maybe next week it will. Either way it was a loss not a gain! 

Sunday, January 11, 2009

My worries and my plan

I'm worried. I have so much on my plate this semester. I am taking 6 classes and working 20 hours a week. I have to get a c or better in 4 of those classes in order to graduate in May. I am so concerned that I will mess this semester up. I find it so hard to study and concentrate on a regular basis and tend to end up cramming the night before the exams. To top it off one of my classes I am retaking because I got a D in it last semester and needed a c. 
Losing this weight is a priority right now, but so is school. I think that I will really need to focus on creating a schedule and sticking to it. I know that I need to plan my food in advance and prepare/pack my healthy foods. 
The bright side I have had these couple weeks off to get a little head start in my weight loss. I still have this coming week to plan and prepare. Also I have only one night class this semester, compared to the three I had last semester. 
I have a lot of things to look forward to this year and they will all be more fun if I feel comfortable in my skin. I am graduating, that means pictures and memories for the rest of my life. I am taking a trip to visit my friend in Florida in July and I want to feel comfortable in shorts and tank tops.
 I know that I won't drop 50lbs in 5 months, I know my body and it works slow and steady but I can surely knock off 20-30lbs by then. Right now I am dreaming of the 170's but then the 160's and possibly the 150's by the time I go to Florida. How freaking amazing would that be? I think that I am taking the right steps, the BLBE will take me through the next 16weeks/20lbs and I am ready. 
I am making myself a priority, I have in the past had money troubles that made it hard to stay at weight watchers but now it is a priority. I have a job through August with my grant so I know that ww is covered at least until then. I am scheduling in my workouts and finding time for myself. I am holding myself accountable for my health.
 I want to be healthy and happy, who could ask for more? I am a future teacher and I want to be a healthy role model for my students. I do not want to fear being judged by my looks but rather by the person that I am inside. I am tired of being intimidated by people thinner than me. 

* I am in control of my health, I have no one to thank or blame for the way I am. I know that I can do it. I know that anyone can do it. You are worth it. You are worth that walk to clear your mind, you are worth the time it takes to plan out your healthy meals, you are worth it to yourself, your kids, your spouse,  and even your dog! Take that walk, that time, and make yourself a better you. 

night snacking

Night munchies are getting me down and I hate it. I feel so compulsive in my night time eating lately. I really need to shut down my kitchen at 7pm and stick to it.
 I have tried taking a bath, chewing gum, brushing my teeth, drinking fluids, and watching tv to take my mind off eating but it isn't working. It also seems like the second I decide to have one snack I need to keep snacking. I cannot seem to get satisfied. I know that my dinner was fine/enough to hold me through but it is just mindless wanting. 
Anyone have any other ideas to curb night time snacking?


Sometimes after a long hard dieting and workout week I look at my  body and I think why am I still fat. It is such a hard concept to think that losing weight doesn't just happen, it is a process. I look at my stomach and think where did all this come from and why won't it go away. How can you wrap your head around it. How do I see progress with so far yet to go?
I know that I can gauge progress by taking measurements, seeing change in my choices, and how I feel in general but how do you catch the mental up with the physical?
I like the concept of weight loss being calories in vs. calories out however that isn't even really true. If I don't eat enough my weight loss stops/ plateaus, even if I eat my points I have to take into consideration how to use my activity points. Do I use my 35 flex points or not? I know I can but then why aren't they part of my daily points? It can really be a lot to think about and calculate if you let yourself. 
Please know that this is not a blog asking for answers I know all the basic answers to these questions. It is just to put it all out there and hopefully I am not the only one who thinks these things. I am really trying hard to not let myself become obsessed the numbers, so I figured that by writing these thoughts out then maybe they will deflate and not become an issue. 

Take care and have a healthy Sunday!

Weekly Goals

I have to brag I met all my goal for last week and more. This week I plan on setting some similar goals to last week's.

- Keep up the water intake 60 oz minimum a day.
- Run C25K at least twice 
- Make a weekly dinner menu 

How do you plan you weekly dinners? I think I will make a list of options and then choose from the list. But the flaw with that is if say the chicken is frozen then I would need to take it out in advance. But it also allows me to pick a lower point dinner as needed for the day. Hrm I don't know. I would love to hear how you do it so leave me a comment and give me some ideas PLEASE!!    ; )

Saturday, January 10, 2009

Exercise for today was good, 30 min walk/run and 30 min yoga. Time for my bubble bath! I hope everyone is having a great Saturday!


So I feel like I am retaining a lot of water and the scale is showing it as of this morning. I usually weigh in on Sunday morning but I think I am going to push it back until Monday morning.
It might sound like I am just buying time but the truth is that I have been within my points all week and I have earned 18 activity points about 15 of which I probably won't even eat. I don't want to get discouraged by a poor weigh in again. So I am hoping for a big loss on Monday!  I deserve it! 

Also I managed to get 3 more new bras today from Victoria's Secret....da da da on sale for $14.99 each!! Woo. It's amazing how much better I feel about myself in these new bras with my girls high and tight! My posture is much improved for sure.

Friday, January 9, 2009

Post 200

I'm home from dinner, we waited one hour to get a table then 45 minutes to get our food. Yes thats right I waited until 8:45 to eat dinner. I am a dinner at 5 kinda girl so I was starving! I ended up ordering my fave meal and I ate about 3/4 of it. I was very conscious of my body and was able to stop when I was full, so I deem that a success! 
I am now home downing water to help balance out the copious amounts of sodium from dinner. I actually am new at this sodium thing but I guess water helps avoid bloating? Right?? I don't weigh in until Sunday morning so I should be able to balance my body out. 
I ended up doing 30 minutes on the treadmill this afternoon and wanted to do some yoga before bed but I think that it would kill me. I have found that I need a lot of digestion time before I do yoga or else I have serious nausea. Does this happen to anyone else? 

It's Ladies night...

So I just got the call that the girls are going out tonight for dinner and drinks at a local pub. CRAP! Let me explain, we are going to one of my favorite eateries where fried is the way to go. They are prized for their buffalo wings, burgers, and local brew beer. My favorite is a buffalo chicken sandwich with ranch and homemade fries!! YUM! I am literally drooling thinking about it. What to do what to do. 
I know that ordering the usual is not a good choice but man is it good. I know you are all probably thinking that I could find a lighter option on the menu but I'm not so sure there is anything that I would eat. I have issues with ordering a salad at a restaurant because I am cheap and would rather pay $12 for a burger than lettuce. Besides most of the time the dressing is 10 points on its own! 

Ok excuses much? Yeah. I am going to give it some more thought and see if I can come up with a plan. I wonder how many points the above meal would be? Maybe 25?It is fried, breaded, coated in buffalo, with ranch on a bun. about 10 round cut fries. Please let me know what you think.

I am off to do something to earn some activity points!

EDIT- By the way I am not a big drinker so I will save some calories there and drink Diet Coke!

Thursday, January 8, 2009

Ready set Goal

SO I have been giving the BLBE experience some real thought today. I would say I have about fifty pounds to lose total to be where I want to be in my weight. It would put me into the healthy range which means a lot to me. It would just be amazing to be able to say I AM HEALTHY!! 
That being said I know that I am not going to lose 50 pounds in 16 weeks, I know that would not be healthy.
 I think realistically I want to aim for twenty pounds that is just a little over a pound a week, totally doable as long as I don't plateau at 175 like usual. My plan is do completely jump over 175 so it won't be a problem, yeah as if it is that easy. 
 If I drop 20lbs it will put me in the high 160's which would be amazing. It have been probably 5 years since I saw 160-something on the scale and I am ready for it! By the way I have this ongoing (I've been trying for about a year) deal with my husband that if I lose 50lbs then we will go to Jamaica and stay at one of those all inclusive resorts. He basically hates sand, ocean, hot weather, and leaving the house so it is a pretty big effort on his part. So 20lbs is almost half way to that goal, not too shabby! 

Busy day..

Today I spent some time fixing my financial aid for this coming semester yay more loans : P Oh well at least it is done. I then spent the afternoon doing copious amounts of laundry at the laundromat. 
Usually I make my husband carry the two huge army duffle bags up the two flights of stair to my apartment but today I decided that I would try it myself. They are so heavy!! Also being the lazy by nature creature that I am I decided to carry both up at the same time. It was tough and I had to stop at the first landing but hey I did it. I think that is progress mentally for me to say to myself "hey why not carry those up myself and get a little arm workout" I am thinking of it as a small step to health. 
I am now off to go babysit one of the children who used to be in the preschool room that I work in. He is now a big kindergartner so I see him rarely. Should be fun and hey babysitting is easy money if you are good at it! I actually love babysitting because I am getting paid to play with a child, and have fun. Love it!

I am going to bring a book to read while the little one is in bed but depending on when he actually goes to bed if I have time I may do some crunches, push ups, and squats. Of course I don't want to be caught doing them when the mom comes home!! How awkward haha. If you have kids how would you feel if you came home to your babysitter doing crunches while the child sleeps??

Have a good night, make good choices, and try to get off your butt a little but only if you are on team Angie!!

Wednesday, January 7, 2009


Tonight I did my yoga dvd and walked 3mph (thats as fast as my little legs will walk) for 30 minutes. I think it would have been better to do that in reverse order because the yoga relaxed my tight leg muscles but then the treadmill made them a little sore again! 

As I just told Kud I am doing well on my exercise this week but you have to take into consideration that I am on school break and not working this week so it has been quite easy with all the free time. So I am really appreciating all the kudos I am getting from you all because I am hoping once life catches up to me I can still keep it up. 

Go Team Angie!

Done finally..

I have been cleaning all day! Organizing my pantry, hallway, kitchen, and bathroom to boot! I felt nice to get things done and I was able to clear out some stuff to send to goodwill. Sometimes it feels good to purge your life of stuff you just don't need. My to do list for the week is shrinking quickly!!

On the food front I had some soup for lunch and dinner was pizza hut (personal pan veggie) which is an amazingly different choice from what I would have eaten before! Lets just say it WOULD have been half of a large pepperoni pizza, extra cheese yes please!. I am still sitting comfy with 2 points to spare for an evening snack. 

PS my inner thighs are killing me from all those squats last night!

Tuesday, January 6, 2009


All righty kids its on..I am a team Angie girl and so ready for it! Please feel free to leave me a note if you are on my team I am always looking for people to share motivation with!

On a similar note I did 30 min on the treadmill, and met another weekly goal of completing on of my dvds (other than yoga). I did the The Firm Cardio Strength training video. I'm not going ot lie it totally kicked my ass and I was mad. There was one part that I just wasn't able to do it killed me. but to look on the bright side I am looking at it as a challenge. Next time I will be able to complete it and that will feel extra good. 

I still may do my yoga dvd before bed. It is a pretty easy beginner routine and it relaxes me more than I would have ever believed. I may become a yoga fanatic yet!

By the way can you tell I am not working today? 3 posts in one day!! Love it!

Evening plans

So the plans for the evening, dinner and treadmill w/ biggest loser. I am hoping to do some walking and maybe running during commercials. After biggest loser maybe some yoga, bath and bed. 

Since I am not working this week I have a lot of plans. Mostly including cleaning and reorganizing my apartment to get ready for the coming semester. I always feel better when I have a orderly home. Which by the way never happens! So I have a pretty hefty list to work on but I got a good start today. I put away my Christmas tree, got the dog's nails cut, visited the daycare, and ran some store errands. Tomorrow is the Laundromat (big time), organizing my pantry, and cleaning out entrance/hallway of my place. 

I definitely got my water in today which is good because it makes a huge difference in how I feel in general. I have found that buying bottled water makes it much easier for me to get my water in. I know that it is a waste of money, bad for the environment etc. but it works for me so I am sticking with it. At least I recycle and I do refill the bottles once or twice and put them back in the fridge. The fact that the water is cold, portable, and available makes a big difference. 

Yay Employment!!

So I have been waiting for a grant to come though for my job at the daycare and it finally did! Although I will be without pay for two weeks this month due to timing I am glad to know that I will be back at work soon. It is so hard to find a job that is flexible with a full time school schedule and I love working with the children. 

So good news this morning!!

Monday, January 5, 2009

One down..

When I got home from my ww meeting tonight I felt pretty good so I decided to do my yoga DVD so that is one goal met for the week!! Woo.


So I went to Victoria's Secret today to get a new bra, picked out three I thought would work and headed to the fitting room. On my way in I made the mistake of asking the sales associate if she could find me the bra I was wearing because I wasn't sure exactly what it's name was. She checked my tag and went to find me one. 
When she came back she and gave me the bra I put it on...knock knock knock. Me- Uh yeah? with the door cracked. In she walks, PANIC!! I have no shirt on!!! She checked the fit and stood there chatting with me. It was so Awkward!! Every bra I tried I rushed but she kept checking on me and coming in. It was really horrifying for me. SHe was just doing her job, she wasn't really pushy, and she was really comfortable. 
It wasn't as traumatic as I thought it would be but next time I will probably say I am ok on my own. It was basically my worst fat girl nightmare for another person (besides my husband) seeing my stomach, stretchmarks and all. 
It did however make me feel a little better that a month ago I would have looked much worse. I was also a little proud that I was able to stand there topless and talk to the sales associate without dying. I guess thats progress. 

Sunday, January 4, 2009

2 part post

As I get ready to head out the door this morning I am concerned that I have gained weight, my scale says 1-2 lbs. It frustrates me so much because I counted every point, got activity, and drank water. I am hoping it is wrong, because like times before I am afraid that gaining will make me lose my motivation. 

1 Hour later

I'm back from weighing in and yeah I gained 1.2lbs. It sucks and I am a little disappointed. 

Ok you may now enter the conversation in my head.....

Well I stayed within my points this week, I counted everything that entered my mouth, I should have lost something!
I exercised and earned 13 activity points of which I only ate 2. I should have lost something. How can I gain on my third week of weight watchers? What am I doing wrong? Dammit not again!!
Ok well maybe my muscles are a little heavy from all the walking I did yesterday. I know that dinner was really high in sodium, and I didn't drink as much water as I should have this week. Ok well I just bought some healthy groceries and I am feeling better about my body. Next week should be a decent loss.
I have no choice but to push on. 

Exit my head.

So the question is do I keep working out? DO I just focus on my diet? Will it balance out?

Saturday, January 3, 2009


I just realized something that I thought I would share with you guys, do you have Netflicks? I do and I had never thought to look for work out DVDs on it before today. There are some good ones, including some that you can stream on your computer right away. A good way to test out a DVD and see if it is worth buying for sure! I think I will add the JM 30 day Shred since it has gotten such good reviews online. 

Of course it would also be good if I used the ones I already own..oops. I have the Jillian M frontside and backside DVDs, as well as a firm resistance band workout, and a walk away the pounds DVD that I haven't even opened yet! I think I may have to make a plan to get those into rotation. Maybe workout dvd night once a week to start? 

Ok so weekly goals for this week are...
-Do one complete workout Dvd 
-Do yoga once this week
- Drink 64oz of water a day
- Lose 1lb


Wow I just got home from my road trip and man am I exhausted!! I bet we walked about 3+ hours straight! Two of them in Ikea alone. It was a really good time. 
Food could definitely been better but when on the road it happens. I started the day with a granola bar, a slice of pizza for lunch with a diet coke, and finished off with a cheeseburger and fries. The burger was on the small side and I ate about 3/4 of it and about 10 fries. It really was a poor choice but I had the points to cover it and it could have been worse. I also indulged in half a bag of peanut M&Ms, YUM. 

I weigh in tomorrow morning hopefully all the salt from dinner today won't bog me down too much and I will see my 1 pound goal loss! I am completely within my points for the week with about 9 activity points to spare so I should be good for a loss. 

Also on the NEWS front I signed up for 

SO here we go!!!

Friday, January 2, 2009


Road Trip tomorrow!! I am heading to Boston with my husband, my friend and her husband. Her husband lived in Boston so he is driving and taking us to the fun places in Boston. My request was IKEA, we are also going to Quincy Market and Newbury Street. 

We will be eating out for lunch and dinner (not sure where) but it will be balanced out by all the walking we will be doing. I have 3 flex points and 4 activity points on top of my 26 daily points so I am feeling ok about it. 

I'll let ya know if I find any good finds!!


Thursday, January 1, 2009

Yoga tryout

So a day late but thats ok. I tried out my yoga kit and it was really good. It was my first time trying yoga in general and I found the Firm DVD to be really easy to follow. It was 30 minutes and pretty easy. I found that yoga is great because I was able to do the moves to the extent that I was physically comfortable with. I will definitely be doing it more often and would recomend the DVD and especially the kit to anyone who is interested in trying yoga. 

I heart Jeans

Kind of a strange comment for a girl who is battling her weight. I love love love jeans. I hate hate hate muffin top. For me 90% of the time Jeans=Muffin top so I was pleasantly surprised today when I tried on some of my jeans. 
Ok let me back up a little, about 2 months ago I came acrossed some very cute American Eagle jeans at the local Marshalls for a rediculously low price. I loved them, they didn't nessessarily love me but I bought them anyways. Two pairs actually. They are denim trouser type pants, you know the kind that can be worn dressy or casual. Normally probably $40-50, I got them from for $16.98 come on who wouldn't have bought them? Well they were really tight, too tight to wear and caused serious muffintop. 
Ok back to my point, I tried them on today and was really pleasently surprised by the lack of muffin top. I bet I will be wearing them very comfortably by this time next month. Victory!!

It is amazing how much 5-10lbs can make in your body. I had completely forgotten how fast your body can change in the beginning of your weight loss.  My goal in my weight loss has always been to be able to dress in the clothes that i love, to invest in really nice clothes knowing that they will look good and last forever. I love fashion and cannot wait until I can rock out anything I want and feel good about myself.