Goals

Holy moly! I looked back at my weight loss and while for the most part it is a downward slide it still shocked me to see how long it takes me to lose! On average I lose 1-2 lbs and then nothing for 3 to 5 weeks! This is a little messed up! I need to figure out how to get some consistent weight loss. It seems almost like I have no control. Whether I eat all my points, just my dailies, my activity it doesn't seem to give me a consistent result. I know this becasue I looked back on the weeks that I lost and they were all different.

For a control freak like it this is rough. I want an answer, someone to tell me what to do. I know I'm not going to get one. I just have to keep going and focus on making good choices. For the record it also seems the more I work out the less I lose!

Please I know its not muscle, we are talking I go to Zumba the next day I have gained a pound. Sometimes I wish I could just skip the scale but I need the validation.

I know everyone has days when they just want to scream. Today is my day. I am literally going to scream then I am going to move on. I am going to go to zumba, I am going to go for a run this week, and I am going to count every freaking point that goes into my mouth.

I want to hit the 160's by Thanksgiving. That is 3.3lbs. That is my goal. How will I get there?

1. eat breakfast, take vitatmins, and flax oil.
2. Eat at home
3. Zumba, run, and walk.

If you made it this far in this post thank you for listening. I won't let you down. I have not been this close to the 160's since 2001. I will get there this month, I want it so bad. I need to keep my eye on the prize baby!

Challenge

So while reading Andrea's blog I saw that she was fast approaching the dreaded 20 minute run week of c25k. Me being the dummy that I am challenged her that if she kept going that I would start running again. Guess what happened ! She did it! I am so proud. BUUUUUTT that means now I have to hold up my end of the bargain.

My stomach is still feeling a little queasy so I haven't started running yet. But I will! I promise. It is on my list of things to do this week!

Get it together!

Ok so this may not be entirely about weight loss but I'm sure there is a connection.

I need to get it together. I am so lucky, I have everything I need and a great husband. Sure we struggle with money sometimes, I am to busy, and I am stressed.

None of this will change. I just need to get it together.

So to start I need to get some school work done, planned, and feel accomplished. I need to schedule and know I will have designated times to get all this work done.

I need to organize my house and keep it that way. This is an unneeded stress in my life.

I need to start the writing diet, which will help me express my feelings and clear my head.

I need to schedule some regular activity, I have already started with Zumba but I would like to get some running back in my life.

I really need to reconnect with my husband. I am cranky, I don't want to be around him and he doesn't deserve to be treated like that. He is so good to me but I just tend to want to be alone a lot when I am stressed. I am a control freak and I know that plays a part in wanting to be alone and work through things on my own. I'm not sure how to change this other than to do the things list above to cut the stress and let me feel in control.

Its a lot to do. I am going to start with conquering some school work today since I am home sick. It is the perfect time to catch up. This weekend I will work on cleaning the house, maybe getting a run in, and starting to read the writing diet book.

sicky

I came home from school sick today. My tummy hurts but no pig flu don't worry. But being as clever as I am I decided that since I am sick and dont want to make dinner that I should eat the ww soup that is in my pantry. Should is a funny word. Instead of the soup, I ordered pizza. Its on it's way. Probably not the best choice but I'll own it. I want it, I'm tired, crabby, and I will count it.

Zumba

Tonight was my first Zumba class. I have to say I spent a little bit of time feeling foolish, missing steps, stopping regrouping and trying again. It wasn't hard but I am the type that if I get out of rhythm I have to take that time to stop and start again. The woman leading the class made some really good comments (to the class not just me) that helped me through my awkwardness. She said things like " I know you think you look really silly right now but you don't!" and " focus on the music don't worry about the steps".


The verdict is that I am going back on Wednesday! I think that once I get the steps down I will be able to feel more confident in going.

Zumba

I am going to ZUMBA tomorrow!! It is my first time and I am really really excited and realy really freaked out! I have never done a exercise class and I have terrible coordination! I hope I can keep up!

Queen of the Plateau

I know I have written about this before but I feel like it is worth repeating. I've have finally given in to the pattern of my weight loss. I am Queen of the Plateau. I usually plateau for 2-3 weeks before I lose maybe for a couple weeks. It sucks.

It is unfair, sucky, and not at all cool. The truth is that, it is what it is. I know this was a reason that I have given up on myself before. I feel like I can accept the plateau knowing that eventually I will lose again. And that is what it is all about. As long as the number on the scale is getting smaller then its all good.

Thoughts and reactions like this, make me realize how much this time is different. I know that I am going all the way this time. I am not freaking out anymore when the scale goes up or if I go over my points. This is my life.

WHAT!?

I was down 3lbs this week! I am down to my lowest weight 173.6!

The writing diet

SO I just purchased the book The Writing Diet hoping that it will help me work through some things in my life. I know I am an emotional eater and I eat out of boredom almost daily. I am working on this but I could use some help. In the past writing has always helped me work through issues so why not bring that tool back into my life.

I'm not going to lie with all this school work, my internship, not working, and seasonal changes I am worried about my mental health. I have already noticed that my fuse is short and that I am pushing people away (including my husband) and I know these are signs of problems. I want people in my life but I keep shutting them out wanting to be left alone. Everyone drives me nuts! My husband drives me up the wall by simply breathing! I need an outlet, a hobby, or something.

Flax

Has anyone tried taking flax seed oil pills?

2 weeks

It ahs been two weeks of being out of control in my eating. I mean I have been trying to follow healthy guideline and eat moderately well but there have been far too many splurges and I completely stopped tracking...never good.

I woke up this morning (almost afternoon) and had a salad. I tracked that salad and enjoyed it with a nice cold bottle of water. I am going to pick up some groceries and make a plan for the week. I am really going to try to get some more walking in this week because soon there will be snow and I wont be able to walk outside as much!

bummed

Holy crap, My other sister in law is now pregnant too. My husband and I are offically the oldest and only couple in the family without children. This bums me out pretty bad, I have been really wanting children lately even more than before.

I know it isn't possible for us right now. I am still finishing up my teaching degree, have no health insurance, and we are still in debt. Of course both sister in laws are in the same boat but don't care.

I hate being the responsible one. It sucks.

Shredding

Ok so I bailed on the Shredding. I did it on Sunday and my legs are still killing me. I just cannot do it right now, I have too much going to on to be in pain all day! I think it would be different if I weren't on my feet all day chasing the kiddos. Some days I dream of a desk job!

I'm going to keep up my walking and eating within my points. I'll work on the shred another time.

Mini goals!

Oh how I love mini goals! So here are my weekly mini goals!

Track everything, everyday.
DO the shred 5xs (this is going to kill me!)
Walk 5xs (30-60 minutes)

I want to focus this week on using exercise as a tool to relieve stress rather than a cause of stress. I need to schedule it in and think of it as treat. Because the truth is, it is a treat. Some people don't have the ability or choice to exercise. I am able.

For the record I was up .8lb today. But since I was up 1 last week I am really up 1.8lbs. This week I know I will in the least get rid of that 1.8 and hopefully a little more. Well I am off to go make my grocery list so that I can make this happen.

Ready

So to make sure I am back on schedule for my healthy life I made a date. Sounds funny right? Well let me explain. I called up my friend Em and made a date to check out some hiking trails I learned about this week. So in the least, I will get some activity in!

snowball

It has been on e heck of what I call a snowball week.. It all started from my trip last weekend. I didn't track and overate. BY Tuesday I was promising to get back on track. Wednesday through Friday were ...well my week is shot, I'm not going to lose anyways days.

Today has been a just finish it up and get it out of you system kinda day. I will weigh in tomorrow. I think I did a little damage. I'm sure I am up at least 2lbs. Dammit.

Not to worry....motivation is in the mail! I purchased 2 tankini tops and four bottoms! All from the clearance on the Victoria's Secret website for....wait for it....$50 including tax and shipping. Wooowooo! Hopefully they fit and look good. But either way I will always want them to look better so I think it is going to help me focus on healthy eating and exercise.

For the record I feel sick. I feel like I am making myself sick. I am remembering what my life used to be, how I used to always feel full and "hungry" and lazy. I am ready to snap out of this. I am done. Starting now, I am tracking and focusing on healthy eating guidelines.

Wonton wrappers

Today I am making these and I will let ya know what I think about them. One note the recipe calls for ff cheese I went with regular sharp cheddar. I decided that I would bring them to the Halloween party I am going to next weekend but wanted to try them out first.

EDIT They were really good. I personally would add some salt and pepper next time and maybe if I don't mind the extra calories some bacon crumbles. PS the sour cream dip is a must for this recipe. I used Daisy brand sour cream which to me tastes just like full fat sour cream.