Friday, January 23, 2009

Honest

I just ate a full bag of chips, with ranch dip. I ate without thinking, barely even enjoying it. I went to the store bought them and came on to sit and eat them. I had to stop and own this. I had to write down how crappy it makes me feel to know that I ate that.
It is not the end of the world, I had the weekly points to cover it. I at least chose baked kettle chips (10pts for the bag) and I threw the rest of the dip away. It just makes me made that I could have enjoyed those 20 points on something much more enjoyable. I got caught up in the craving and just let loose.
I think that it is important to post about the bad as well as the good because weight loss is a journey of ups and downs. I am embarrassed that I had that mini binge but I am also proud because I stopped. Six months ago I would have gone on a full out, eat whatever I want until I want to puke because I already screwed up so I might as well go crazy. Today I stopped, I threw away the junk and now I am moving on. I am going to drink lots of water to get rid of the sodium and get on the treadmill to create some balance.

I am human and I am a learner.

2 comments:

Bee said...

I think the fact that you owned up to it and wrote about it is awesome. It's really easy to edit yourself when you are writing to the masses, but you didn't...kudos to you. Also, good job for noticing what you were doing and stopping it.

(((hugs))))

Squishy ! said...

It hurts sometimes to say the words, doesn't it? You did a great job with taking control of the situation. Sometimes the learning to recognize the problem and being able to stop the binge is part of the bigger picture. Good job.