Friday, January 30, 2009

I failing, I can feel it. I am starting to care less and less about what I eat. Today I even thought "Oh well screw it I want it. I ate what I wanted and didn't care that it used up all my points by 3pm. I didn't care that I didn't leave myself any wiggle room for tomorrow. I didn't care that I weigh in on Sunday and I know I will bloat.

I need to kick start myself. I am recognizing a pattern from my past, where I give up and say screw it. I have so many excuses, veggies are soo expensive right now, I have no time to cook with school, I am stressed, I'm not losing much, I love to eat out, and I miss fried chicken. I miss just grabbing something to eat and not thinking about it. I miss not having to plan EVERYTHING I put in my mouth.

I actually had the thought today that I might as well just eat what I want because I am not going to lose this week anyways.

Why is it that it is so easy to quit?

Ok don't panic, I am not quitting but holy cow am I tempted to. I just need to stop and think a bit so that I can start caring again.


♥ Dee ♥ said...

Okay, I have been there. I know exactly what you are going through. That's why I invented "Food Vacations".

Yup, you heard me. My WI is on Sat. So very similar. What I did when I felt like you do right now is this. I took a food vacation and allowed myself to go right back to my old way of eating... for a specific period of time. Mine is always Monday for a fresh start.

So I would eat and indulge and ingest all the crap I want. All the foods I normally "know better" and avoid. All the McDonald's double quarter pounder plain with extra cheese and mayo's I want. Then, by the time I got to my last vacation day, my body felt so shitty, so gummed up, so disgusting, that I actually CRAVED being on plan again.

Hey, no diet book, program or doctor will recommend such a thing. And I stand alone I'm sure. But it works for me.

Every three months or so, I start going squirrely. I start obsessing about fatty foods. I struggle like MAD with my chosen lifestyle. That's when I know it's food vacation time. Time to remind myself WHY the healthy choices need to be made.

Sarah :) said...

Hi there, I'm new to your blog. I found it as I was bounding from one weight-loss-inspiration blog to another. *haha* Yours really stuck with me, though, possibly because of your cute title. (How many times have ~I~ been in a FOOD COMA!!!) But also because of the way you discuss this struggle so frankly. I like that honesty.

And today's post really resonates with me, especially "recognizing a pattern from my past." I do the exact same thing to myself!!! It usually includes a trip to the store where I wander around and say, "Ok, what do I want to eat...this is my one chance to pig out and then I'll do better tomorrow." So I buy a ton of junk food and spend the whole day/night bingeing. Then the next day it usually happens all over again because I have that "aw screw it" attitude.

It's so hard to keep your head on straight in the midst of cravings. And let's face it, sometimes bingeing feels SO GOOD! I mean sometimes I really feel like I just need to eat handfuls of cereal straight from the box. *haha* It's AWFUL!! Definitely a psychological battle as well as physical.

So anyway, now that I've told you I've totally been there, I want to encourage you! It's so hard to stick with it, even if the scale isn't moving. But something my Mom and I have been telling each other this year (we're both in a weight-loss routine) is that if the scale isn't moving DOWN, we can be glad that at least it's not moving UP. I don't know about you, but my scale is never stagnant. That number just gets bigger and bigger UNLESS I make this conscious effort to make it stop. And eventually it will go down. It just takes a lot of waiting.

Wow that got long. I just wanted to let you know there is someone else that completely understands what you're going through. And to encourage you not to give up. You're worth the effort!

Rosie said...

I'm just getting over the same thing you're going through right now... you can email me if you want to chat or something

Don't just eat anything, you might not loss this week but you don't know what your gain will be the bigger the gain the worse you will feel... get back on track RIGHT NOW you might not be able to save this week but you can use the next couple of days as practice for a GREAT WEEK next week...


Fatinah said...

don't give up on yourself!

marie said...

DO NOT let it ruin your week.

Track and move on.

It gets better.