Sunday, November 7, 2010

Well Hello there.

Hello dear loyal remaining followers! I am glad to see that most of you are still around, even though I haven't been. I appreciate you! I have been keeping up on reading blogs, every single day but post has been tough. NOt because I didn't have time but rather because I knew I wasn't taking care of myself.

I know that I need to snap back into action. I am feeling uncomfortable in all of my clothing. I am constantly aware of how my stomach is sticking out, constantly fearing that someone will mistake me as being pregnant. In turn I don't want to go out or socialize because I might meet new people who may ask if I am pregnant, embarassing me in front of others. Sometimes I just wish I looked fat, but my body type makes me look pregnant. I don't really care if people think I am overweight because I am.

The true irony is is that I wish I was pregnant, starting a family but we aren't there yet financially. I am aware that I am getting to an age they people feel that they can say that I better hurry up and have kids. Like I don't know that I am approaching 30 years old, I know we are the only/oldest in my husband's family with out kids. I know we will be good parents but just not quite yet. I know timing will never be right but I need a job and I need health insurance but they just don't seem to understand that fact.

SO the point of this post is not to complain but rather to set forth a plan for change. I don't have a huge plan or set of steps. Instead I am making small changes. I will start logging my calories, today, right now. I will be active this week when I get home from school, starting with walking.

Thats how I am going to start this up. No big plan for me to fail but rather simple steps to a healthier me. I just keep thinking about how happy and content I was at 174lbs. No it isn't the perfect weight for me but I felt really good. I want to get back to that place where I felt good about my body, loved shopping/trying on clothes, and was confident.

This is a long post with a promise to try. I will be posting more and I hope you all can understand my absences.

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