Wow last night was a tough night. I had a bit of a melt down about finances, more specifically student loan debt that is going into repayment. It is really overwhelming and I am not sure how I am supposed to live and pay them back. Especially since I have such a low paying job at the school, not that teachers make a lot but as an ed tech I make less than half what a teacher makes. SO last night I sulked, sobbed, and went to bed. My husband assures me that it will be ok but I just can't fathom paying $500 a month for the rest of my life basically. Especially when my take home is $600 bi weekly.
I just want to start a family and live a modest life. I don't need much but I don't want my child to feel like they went without like I did. I don't want them to avoid playing basketball because we cannot afford the shoes or not go to prom because they know we don't have money for a dress. That was my experience and I don't want that for my child. I want them to have what they need.
I know this isn't really health related but it is connected. Emotionally I was in a really bad place. I am still coming out of it. I realize I am lacking control. I am going to try to turn that need for control into my health. I can control what I eat and how I work out. I can control my choices.