Monday, August 16, 2010


I should get my bike tomorrow! It is scheduled to be delivered sometime tomorrow I am thinking probably in the evening. I am very excited in case you cannot tell ; ) I am going to try to remember to weigh in tomorrow morning. Honestly it has been a couple weeks since I remember weighing in. There is probably a reason for that...the number wasn't pretty. I hadn't hit 200 but it was scary close.

I am feeling pretty lousy in my body lately. My clothes aren't fitting and I am not confident in myself at all. My belly is just soo big and I hate it. I am in constant fear of strangers asking if I am pregnant. Its just how I carry my weight. I should be glad I don't gain in other places but instead I live in fear of the embarrassment of people asking if I am prego. Yes it has happened before, 5 times. Humiliating.

I just want to get back to that place where I felt comfortable in my body. Sure I still wanted to lose weigh but we I was in my low 170's I felt really good. I was happier and more confident. I was proud of my accomplishments. I don't know how I got back here. I mean I don't know at what point I lost control of it.

I am not going to cry or say why me. Instead I am going to make some changes. Starting with my bike. I am going to make a conscious effort to ride everyday for at least 30 minutes. I am also going to try to pay more attention to what and how much I eat. No really structured plan of eating at first. I am focusing on activity first.

It is time to take care of my health. I have focused on school, the move, and the new house. Now it is time to focus on health. I will post some pics of the new bike tomorrow (hopefully)!

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