Wednesday, September 22, 2010

My fear

A fear that I have about losing weight is that I am planning on getting pregnant in the next year or 2. I know it seems silly but I feel like I will just gain it all back. Whats the point? I realize that that is not necessarily correct. I could lose 50lbs and gain only 20 with the pregnancy. I could gain mostly baby not all fat like it is now.

I really want to experience being a cute pregnant woman with a nice round belly. I want to be able show off my belly. I want to introduce my child into a healthy home. I have no fear that I will teach my child to eat well but I do fear that I won't be able to model it for them.

Maybe my main concern isn't weigh but rather living a healthy lifestyle. I struggle with finding healthy foods I actually like. I just wish I had a way to make myself love veggies.

I wish I had insurance so I could see a therapist. I have a lot of issues that need working out. I know that my issue is psychological but I just can't seem to work it out myself. I keep trying, its the curse of my psych degree. But this post has helped, I know that I need to be a healthier person with healthier habits before I bring another human into this world.

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