Sunday, November 2, 2008

Growing up in a large family has clearly affected my eating ways. Growing up it was always a situation of if you don't eat it right away then you aren't getting any. Once I started having my own money I would buy food and hide it in my room. I am not talking about just candy but stupid things like cup of noodles, bags of chips, or fruit snacks. 
Please understand that I never went to bed hungry or opened an empty cupboard. It was simply a situation that all the special things like cookies would disappear the second they were opened and getting seconds at dinner was an eating race. 
When ever my husband and I eat pizza its like being at home all over again. I know that I don't need to eat half the pizza but I feel like if I don't then I wont get my fair share. What an awful feeling. I'm not going to lie I feel this way when I serve food at dinner I make sure that our food is equal even though I end up giving him half of what I take.  
Also my husband knows that when I say don't eat that it's mine that I am not kidding. Sometimes I think that its the same situation as it was at home because he will sit down with a box or bag of anything and just eat the whole thing. It drives me crazy to the point that I always say to him "Don't eat all of it" and he says I won't.  
I feel awful that I have such a possessive feeling towards food. It makes me mad at myself. NOt to mention that when I am on a specific diet it is even worse because I have to have the certain foods available for my lunches etc. I can't just go to the drive thru. 
I really wish I could just let go of all my food issues but I'm not sure if I ever will. My hope is that by blogging or saying it out loud I will be able to be more conscious of my feelings/actions.

Just another way my family screwed me up ...could be worse, trust me I know. 


1 comment:

Criz-tawl said...

My family is similar with food ... I was always taught that you had to clean your plate before leaving the table. So even now as an adult I feel the need to clean my plate of food ... even when I'm full. It's a hard thing to break.

Oi, thanks for the link ... I checked out the site and I really like the way it's set up. I've signed up to other sites (SparkPeople) and just not liked them.