I'm ready for something to happen. I am ready to get out of this rut I am in. I am working working working in every aspect of my life and yet nothing seems to be happening. I am floating in school and eating simply. I am moving along in my student teaching at a snails pace. Although that is one place that will change because Monday is my first day of subbing on my own. It is in my regular classroom and the kids have been out of control this past week! I hope it goes well.
Sometimes I wish I could skip a year ahead. In a year I see myself moved back to where my husband's family lives, in a home of my own with a job at a school and planning my family. I would be done with school ( 2 classes shy of my masters) and just moving forward with my life. I see myself healthy and fit. Living.
I know that time is precious and I shouldn't wish it away however at this point I would avoid much stress and exhaustion. I am simply tired and ready for a new stage in my life to start. I am doing the work now to set the rest of my life.
I just hope that I am good enough. That I can prove that I deserve a teaching job. I hope our finances are in a good enough state that we can afford a home and then consequently to have a family. I am so full of insecurity right now, I cannot wait to feel more confident and settled.